Super Smarts

Grandma Phyl

2012-01-16T16:54:00.000-08:00

Grandma Phyl came to visit us immediately following Christmas and stayed with us through the New Year. What a wonderful visit! She is so much fun to be around. We played games and ate everything Sheila placed in front of us. We at some nice dinners out and did our best to not offend any chef who was serving us.

We enjoyed New Year's Eve in Seattle. Brunch at Salty's and then the Broadway show Cinderella at the 5th Avenue Theatre. We dragged her all over the place and she hardly seem to mind. At Salty's she profounded stated, "I need to squeeze some lemon juice in my Diet Coke to give it some nutritional value. Did anyone see a lemon at the buffet bar?" We were doing extreme damage to our health at that very moment. In retrospect, even she admitted that worrying about our nutrition while working on our 4th platters seemed a little odd. Following the show and a little shopping, we drove to Portland to visit Darcee and Brent. Darcee was at the hospital with Keith so we celebrated New Years with them by uncorking a couple of bottles of Martinellis and breaking some amazing sushi (for Darcee, of course).

Grandma Phyl never ceases to amaze us. She is wicked smart and will likely forget more than I will ever know. She was so sweet with Keith. She spent every moment that she could with him. In her words, "He's just an angel boy!" She is an inspiration for all of us. She never stops moving. I'm not making this up, as any who knows her can attest. I'm not sure how she out paces us at her age. She is truly a remarkable women at any age, and when you consider she is 80+ it's mindboggling.

She is so accommodating. She rode back to Salt Lake crammed in Shea's truck with several co-eds, without even a whisper of a complaint. What a trooper!

Lil D and Grandma Phyl.

Loving Keithy every chance she had.

Cinderella at the 5th Avenue Theatre.

She's a winner for sure! We couldn't be more blessed.

The hap, hap, happiest Christmas

2012-01-16T07:21:00.000-08:00

Despite Keith's extreme challenges over the Holidays, we still managed to have just about the "hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap danced with Danny [bleeping] Kay." We enjoyed skiing and snowboarding (until I tore my MCL wrestling), shopping, Ju-jitsu kick boxing (until I tore my MCL), doing puzzles, games, eating everything in sight (unaffected by my MCL injury), hanging out with the coolest grandkids known to man, P90X workouts (until I injured my MCL), a Broadway play in Seattle, the Holiday Brunch at Salty's (West Seattle), a trip to Portland and very special visit from Grandma Phyl.

Chels and Ally.

A belated Christmas in Tigard.

New Year's Eve in the hospital with Keith.

Chels and Ally. Notice the cross toes.

Lil D and Ally.

Sibling love or torture?

Lil D and Keithy.

A very satisfying New Year's Eve at Salty's.

Grandma Phyl spent a lot of time hanging out with Keith. It was touching.

Probably the best present I've received in a long, long time--a customized Wolverine themed climbing helmet, painted with our most famous family motto: "Scratch and Claw."

Keith finally getting to open a present. Woohoo!

Sheila, me and Grandma Phyl at Cinderella.

Shea, Lil D and Chels at Cinderella.

Cole--a Super Hero for sure!

A Princess, and she knows it!

Lil D and Me at the Box Office of the 5th Avenue Theatre for Cinderella.

Grandma Phyl and Lil D at Salty's (probably the best buffet known to mankind).

Grandpa Smart got to spend tons of time with Evie (and she loved it, of course).

I am not sure where all the pics of Sydney and Nick are. When Nick is around, I don't shoot very many pictures because I am totally intimidated by Nick's Nikon camera. At any rate, we felt so blessed this Christmas. Seeing Keith suffer so much was difficult to be sure, but we nevertheless found so much good to celebrate and enjoy just being together.

Failure to Thrive Syndrome

2011-10-15T10:00:00.000-07:00

I am smiling again. I got my wife back after a long, long absence. When we anticipated being empty-nesters, I did not guess that it would be me alone in the nest. After our wonderful trip to the UK and Switzerland, Sheila stayed in London and partied with Chelsea; then visited Darcee in Portland to help with Keith's treatment; and finally went to Eugene to hang out with Little Evelyn. To say I missed her would constitute a ginormous understatement. Seriously, there were moments were I was pretty sure I wouldn't (and couldn't) make it another day.

For centuries, nursery workers have been aware of an obscure diagnosis to explain mysterious infant and children motality--Failure to Thrive Syndrome. I was pretty sure that I was suffering from this potential fatal ailment. While visiting my attending physician, Dr. Brett DeGooyer, for some minor lumbago symptoms, he in fact, verified the diagnosis. I have always thought him a wise physician, but his ability to hone in on this diagnosis like a laser shot, was well, beyond impressive. Fortunately, the cure for this most serious of conditions is pretty simple--gobs and gobs of TLC. The She-wolf is back in the nest, so friends and family members need not worry that I continue to suffer, nor that my life is still precipitously dangling in doubt.

In describing my near death experience to a doubting friend, I felt the need to show him the prescription written by my doctor. I have attached this very real and valid document lest there are others that doubt my experience, or are simply curious about this diagnosis. Regardless, rest assured that I am once again thriving and happy!

How Do You Measure A Man?

2011-10-10T21:20:00.000-07:00

I'm helping my dad make his Halloween costume this year. In an effort to complete his costume in an efficient and accurate manner I sent him an email asking him for his measurements.

Here is his EXACT response:

Syd:

The obvious answers are as follows:

1. All the way around the largest part of your chest: Massive and strong like a bull

2. All the way around the largest part of your arms: Massive and hard like hammers

3. Shoulder to shoulder: Massive and muscular like the demigods.

4. Waist: Tiny and svelte I’m sure

5. Belly button to knee: Long and strong like an Olympian.

Actually, I don’t know any of these measurements.

So I’ll have to go home and measure and then let you know tomorrow.

thanks so much for doing this.

-Dad

After receiving this email, I promptly emailed my mom for some help.

She measured my Dad and sent back an email, but not before my Dad was

able to type several "additions" to the correct measurements.

Here is an EXACT copy of the second email:

syd: thanks so much for your help. Our clan must stick together. and now for my pathetic stats:

Chest: 44 --huh? You mother apparently doesn't know how to take a simple measurement.

Arms: 15.5--say what? why do they look like massive anacondas

when I pose in the mirror after showering then?!

Waist: 35--Hmmmm? Must be measuring in centimeters.

There is no possibility that my "Big Ab" is girthier than 32".

Belly to knee: 21. No comment. I have always been a Hobbit.

Shoulder to shoulder: 19--who knew that measuring tapes could be defective,

and that your mother would be so careless as to buy a defective item.

Thanks mucho!

After reading both of these emails, I realized one thing:

My father is an immeasurable man in more ways than one.

We really were in the Swiss Alps--Honest!

2011-09-11T14:22:00.001-07:00

Okay. I know this picture looks totally fake, but we really were in the Swiss Alps. Rocky took this and for some reason we all look "photo-shopped" into the picture. This was the scene of a James Bond movie "On Her Majesty Secret Service" circa 1968. Sheila is positive that I could do some of the cool stunts from the movie. Her willingness to believe some of what I tell her is just one of many reasons why I love her so much.

Our Swiss adventure was most excellent--thanks to our hosts: Rocky, Sarah and E!

Our wonderful Swiss hosts--Rocky and Sarah, who despite having only arrived in country a couple of weeks ago, were willing to host us for a few days.

Amazing and beautiful No. 2 Daughter--Chelsea

E milking a Swiss cow.

E milking another Swiss cow.

Our traveling troupe looking back at some of the treacherous roads that could only be handled by James Bond and Rocky Smart.

50 in France, 51 in Switzerland, 52 in ...

2011-09-08T04:01:00.000-07:00

Sheila spent her 50th birthday in Paris. Today she is spending her 51st birthday in Switzerland. She kept telling us she didn't want to have a big party where people pity her because she's getting old. She wanted to go someplace quiet and private. Well, I'm not sure either Zurich or Paris qualifies as quiet or private, but at least it's someplace fun. It's hard to pack presents for her birthday so she's really gone without any big celebrations the last two years, but somehow I think the trips alone were sufficient presents. Besides its hard for us to shop for Sheila because she has fairly particular tastes and likes to do her own shopping. So a trip really is the perfect gift. This is her 11th foreign country. I'm embarrassed even saying that because Switzerland is Chelsea's 30th foreign adventure. (Very few people can compete with Chelsea.)

Empty nesters...hmmm... Seems weird just saying those words. Sheila's life has singularly been focused on our children and our home. Bearing 6 children and raising 5 of them to adulthood, caring for every lost soul within her reach and taking care of me ( ie, keeping me from derailing), has been an enormous undertaking. Its time for Sheila to enjoy time doing what she wants; and going places that interest her. For many years our family vacations have been centered on traveling to Utah and trying to stay connected to family. We are all excited for Sheila to focus on Sheila and enjoy her life. So, a big Smart family shout out and Happy Birthday to the one person who has made our family what it is. Happy Birthday, Sheila!

Be True to Your School

2011-09-02T10:04:00.000-07:00

I was outraged to view the two comments to Chelsea's unsubtle, recent post about our various schools. In no way was the picture of her supposed "mascot" convincing of superiority. Yes, she did put it last, but is that really showing equality or was it a tactic to help those deciding on a mascot? "I don't know who to pick so I will just pick the last one I can remember." I think you see my point. But with all that aside, the truly sad part was I was sold out by my own wife. True, she has been known to wake up at 2am and watch the royal wedding by choice and then proceed from the original viewing with an 18-hour marathon of royal wedding reruns, but still, follow the Beach Boys' advice and Be True to Your School. Syd did concede that no matter how much she loved our Duck, her heart was given away along time ago to the Royal Family. I must give her props for sticking to her guns. I think all the Smart's would probably agree, which is why there will inevitably be heated debates over the next few years, or realistically decades, as to which mascot is the best. So in order to make my argument of why the Duck's are at the top of the food chain allow me to make just two arguments.

1) Ducks fly together.

2) My mascot can beat up your mascot.

Team Smart

2011-08-30T20:44:00.000-07:00

This fall 4 of the 5 Smartie sibs are back in school. The Bank of Durrelly is officially overdrafting. But this begs the questions: Which team are you cheering for?

The Wolverines

The Ducks

The Cougs

Or the Royal Family?

My alliances are obvious...I mean seriously the royal family eats cougars, wolverines, and ducks for dinner. Which team are you on?

Spiffy Family

2011-08-21T20:43:00.000-07:00

For the first time in two and half years, all the Smarts were together again! (If only for one day)
I couldn't resist posting this pic. Can't wait until Christmas when we can really party!

Future BYU Co-Ed

2011-07-31T19:03:00.000-07:00

Just a quick shout out for the baby Kardashian. She's smart, tough, a total betty and she just turned 18!
We love you little D!

Looking this good can only come naturally.

In My Corner

2011-06-19T14:19:00.000-07:00

I don't pretend to know how it works, but I know there are no accidents when it comes to how our parents are selected. I like to think I chose mine. And if I did, I must have been a good fighter to beat out all of the competition out there who wanted Durelly.
Whether I chose them or not, I know there was purpose in me being a member of the Smart family. I know there are reasons why my dad is MY dad. Those reasons have become more and more clear the older (and I'd like to think the wiser) I get.

My dad and I have shared specific experiences, conversations and repetitive one-liners that have prepared me for various situations in my life. It would take forever to recount them all; most are funny and some of them are personal, but I'll share the most recent. The second night in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit with Keith, after we had received the news from the neurosurgeon about the gravity of Keith's tumor, I called my Dad. He repeated several times during our conversation, "Whatever cross we are asked to bear, we will bear. And we will bear it well."
At first I was kind of irritated. I wanted him to let me be upset, angry, grief-stricken. I wanted him to let me get all those raw emotions out before I rallied myself for battle. And I was frustrated because for a split-second I resented the "we" in his statement. I realized a couple of things though.
One, my dad has always been the coach in the corner, the cheerleader if you will. It's in the "Phyl" gene, I guess. He's always positive and always convincing me to be extraordinary. This was his way of inspiring me. His way of helping ease my pain.
Two, my dad was easing his pain, too. My Dad knows of grief. He's buried his only two sisters in untimely deaths. One passed while he was serving a mission in Japan, thousands of miles from home. My Dad buried his first-born son. My Dad has buried his own father. He has loved and lost. I can't think of anyone more appropriately prepared to share hard-earned words of wisdom during a moment of crisis.

My Dad continues to check in with me often. He is always in my corner, telling me how amazing I am and how I can do hard things. Children believe what they hear. It's a very good thing I've heard nothing but rallying-cries my whole life from my biggest fan. The constant and yes, even repetitive cheering has given me confidence, faith, determination and sheer will.
That is no accident. And for that, I am so very grateful.

Jimmer You're Crowding My Birthdayness!

2011-03-29T07:08:00.001-07:00

Some of you BYU fans were sad to see Jimmer play his last college game. I, on the other hand, was elated to see him go. Good riddance! Bon voyage, amigo! A big sayonara! Now before you BYU fans engage in acts of cyber terrorism and lace our family blog with destructive viruses, let me explain. I turned 54 years old on February 24th. As Patriarch of the Super Smarts, my birthdays are becoming increasingly more important to me. Dang it, I suffer a lot to reach each new plateau that is created by a new birthday, and I want my special day recognized appropriately. So, I feel it is quite understandable for me to be upset when my birthday gets crowded by extraneous events .

First, there was the little drama created by Sydney marrying Nick Jordan, whose birthday inconviently happens to be February 26th--a fact he failed to disclose when asking me if he could marry Sydney. Say what?! While this little omission cannot be deemed direct prevarication, it comes perilously close to fraud in the inducement, an act that gives rise to a cause of action and civil damages in a court of law. Regardless, Nick and I have worked out a little compromise. We have set aside February 25th as a day of truce; a birthday no man's land; a place of nothingness birthday related. I get everything before Febuary 25th; he gets everything thereafter. In general I have been happy with this arrangement; that is, until the Jimmer entered our arena of play. As everyone obviously knows, February 25th is the Jimmer's birthday. This year both of our birthdays were crowded by the Jimmer and the hysteria in Cougar Nation that is Jimmermania. With all of the excitement over BYU's early success in the NCAA tournament, and the Jimmer's likely selection as player of the year, there was hardly time to even notice that I turned 54 (and Nick turned 20 something).

While I complained bitterly about this, a thoughtful family member suggested that I join the celebration and send a facebook friend request to the Jimmer, since we almost share birthdays. I sent a friend request and was deeply disappointed that he never responded. Even worse, I found out that he accepted Nick's request to be a facebook friend. Nick never even checks his account! How unfair is that?

So, while some of you mourned the early exit of the Jimmer and your beloved Cougs from the NCAA tournament, I celebrated that loss. The sooner Jimmer exits the national stage and fades into the sunset, the better. Next year, Nick and I can once again observe February 25th as a birthday no-man's land and a definite boundary between our special days without feeling crowded by the hype and nonsense that is Jimmermania.

The Quote Wall and the Orange Scrunchy

2011-03-07T19:58:00.000-08:00

When I was in Portland last time, I was looking for something in Darcee's bathroom and I stumbled upon two odd things. The first offender consisted of a few pages of computer paper with some typed notes. As I got closer, I realized the paper was actually a "quote wall' of motivating verses and uplifting thoughts. I am pretty sure John Bytheway doesn't live in the Burnett house but I couldn't image who else would have put up such a thing. If anyone knows Darc you know it couldn't be her. Considering all other permanent residents can only spell their names and the names of their favorite Toy Story characters, that left only one person. But is Brent really the type to have such a pansy document up? He is the parent that cheered Keith on when he got his first bloody nose because he was officially on his way to becoming a man.

The next offensive object, I was all too familiar with. Below the subject:

This nasty piece of fabric and elastic has been in the possession of my sister for twenty years. It is disgusting. It is a hair scrunchy circa 1990 and was made by one of the basketball moms from her junior high team. It's orange. It has stars. It's a hair scrunchy. I will admit there was a time when these were both appropriate and cool. This would not be one of those times. Actually, it was never that time. By the time this came into Darc's possession it was not cool to have scrunchies let alone matching hair scrunchies with your whole basketball team. So the birth of the scrunchy lead to a long lasting belief that basketball games could not be won with out the magical scrunchy. The scrunchy then held its permanent place a top Darcee's head throughout the years of her basketball career. As the uniforms change the scrunchy did not. Fast forward to high school when the scrunchy was definitely a fashion no no and most of her teammates had gladly retired the hair accessory. But not Darcee--she insisted on the magic. Even when she made the picture on the front page of the sports section, the orange scrunchy was there in all it's glory. There was no getting rid of it. But Darcee's basketball career ended a long time ago--why was the scrunchy still prominently displayed in the bathroom?

The first thing I thought when I saw both of these things (besides wondering if the scrunchy was sanitary after all these years) is Darc and Brent can do this. When faced with trials they find ways to beat the odds and do the impossible. They always have been like that. They both thrive on doing hard things and reaching difficult goals. They are both competitive athletes and thrive on physical endurance. They may have to employ motivation from pansy quotes or magically hair accessories but they are hard core. I can't think of better parents. They are devoted to their kids and make parenting seem fun. (Maybe it is fun until kids become teenagers??) I appreciate their patience, endurance, and strength--and I know they can do anything.

Because the circumstances are what they are, I will allow the scrunchy and the quote wall as long as both remain in the bathroom. Any deviation from this and they may need to find a new way to motivate themselves.

We Don't Share No Stinkin' Birthdays

2011-02-24T14:21:00.000-08:00

Today we celebrate the birth of the one and only Puff Daddy.
He's tough, he's rough, and most certainly a little puff, but that's what we love about him most.
Here a picture of the Big D with someone who may or may not have a birthday in two days. But we can't talk about that possible someone who might have a birthday soon after Puff Daddy's because only one person can have birthdayness at a time.

In other words - We don't share no stinkin' birthdays!
A birthday in the Smart family is cherished, exaggerated, and spread out as much as possible because we are THAT awesome. If you know Big D, you know that as head of the Smart family he takes his job seriously. He has led us, as only the true human compass could, beyond limits and up mountains since appointing himself supreme chancellor of all things Smartypants.
Leading our family both physically and metaphorically happens to be the Puff Daddy's forte.

For example, if you know this blog exists, then you have most likely either A) Climbed a mountain with Big D, B) Suffered serious injury while in Big D's presence, C) Weeded in the dark with a headlamp on, or D) Experienced A, B, and C most extensively in your lifetime.
If you answered D, then you mostly likely A) Share some kind of genetic composition with Big D and are probably his biological offspring, B) Married to one of Big D's offspring, C) Married to Big D himself or D) Just plain suicidal
If you answered D, congratulations! You are probably one of Big D's best friends! Consider yourself extremely fortunate, because not many people can keep up with the Puff Daddy and live to tell their tale.

In fact, most people cannot keep up with the Puff Daddy period. He has more hobbies, interests, and talents than everyone you know combined. You've say you've got a quirky friend? Well Puff Daddy will do your friend one better every time. Big D has often been quoted saying, "Anything worth doing is worth overdoing," and he speaks nothing but the truth. His hobbies include mountaineering, cycling (road/mountain), climbing (rock/ice), skiing (water/snow), snowboarding, snow cave building, landscaping, floral arranging, basketball (aka fouling), learning foreign languages, kayaking/canoeing, fishing, skateboarding, hiking, bragging, hunting, and fighting for the poor injured worker as Yakima's contemporary Robin Hood.

Listing his talents would simply take a lifetime, so here are a few of his most notable accomplishments:
1. Playing the harmonica with both his mouth AND his nose.
2. Unleashing the "bag of trick" at various family vacations.
3. Fitting 48 hours of work into a 24 hour work day.
4. Being more romantic, good looking, and mysterious than Edward Cullen.
5. Never loosing a game of pool basketball.
6. Being the world's best Grandpa
7. Entering and winning wrestling tournaments for more than 35 years.

Big D's life has been nothing short of zesty and way more than all that jazz. While it is clear that his many talents and hobbies inspire and motivate us to all be better people, it is his pure love for life that make us all happy to say we know and love him.
To the world's hardest worker, sexiest husband, most devoted dad, and coolest grandpa - we love you!
Of course we wouldn't make you share your birthday with anyone else!

Darcee

2011-02-04T13:46:00.000-08:00

When Darcee was 13 I took her, Chelsea and Sydney on a fairly long backpacking trip for young kids . Sydney was 5 and couldn't carry much. She had a small backpack, but could only carry her blankie and her sleeping bag. In order to get everything on our backs I placed a very heavy load on Darcee. She was always physically a very strong little girl. She didn't complain or question my wisdom in putting most of Sydney's stuff and most of the food in her pack (I had the tent, stove and fuel). On the second day Sydney began to fade. She started to cry and said that she couldn't carry her sleeping bag. I looked at Darcee and told her that she would just have to man up and carry her little sister's sleeping bag. She didn't complain. Again she didn't question my decision to put more weight on her back. The third day, she whimpered a little bit when we got ready to put our backpacks on.

"What wrong?", I asked.

"Dad, I think my hips are bruised from the weight."

"What you can't bruise your hips?! That's crazy! You just need to be tough for one more day. I know you can do it!"

She then hiked down her pants far enough for me to see the bruises on her hips! Who knew that you could bruise your hips from carrying heavy weight? I felt terrible. However, we were in a pickle. I couldn't fit anything more in my pack, or on my back. Again, Darcee was just going to have to man up and be in pain a little while longer.

I have always expected a lot from my kids, especially Darcee. Experts say that if you raise a perfect first child, the rest of the herd will follow. (Okay, I don't know if any real expert actually said such a thing, but I believe it to be true.) Regardless, Sheila and I raised in every way imaginable a perfect first child. And, in deed, the rest of the herd has followed.

I have always expected my kids to do hard things, whether it was climbing mountains, enduring epic bike rides, or simply working in the garden, I have wanted them to do hard things without complaint. Actually, I have expected a few complaints here and there. However, in looking back on the things we have done, I don't know of anyone tougher than Darcee.

She and Brent are facing a very tough battle right now. We keep telling her, "You can do this!" Although it breaks our hearts to see her carrying such a heavy load, if anyone can do this, it's our perfect first child. I have never doubted her strength, her faith or her courage. We stand in awe at what an amazing mother she has become. While we might falter and doubt, we have complete faith in a most remarkable daughter.

Edible Sugar Cookies

2011-01-01T21:11:00.000-08:00

Every Christmas, we have a Smart Family Tradition of frosting sugar cookies. Shelly makes the most amazing sugar cookies and Favorite Aunts 1 and 2 were excited to show their favorite nephews the tradition.

Keith and Cole had other ideas.

They didn't really get the whole decorating thing but they did enjoy the eating part.

As you can see.

When it was all over we weren't sure if we had any edible ones, but Cole tested them for us and they seemed to be alright.

Christmas Cheer: Griswald Style

2010-12-09T21:42:00.001-08:00

Clark Griswald's greatest joy (after his Christmas lights of course):

Christmas Card circa 1994.

Merry Christmas!
With Love,
The Griswalds

Yakima, The Palm Springs of Washington and...

2010-12-07T11:56:00.000-08:00

...the least brainy city.

I will not jump off a bridge after viewing the results because:

1. My roommates' hometown also ranked in the top ten

2. I live in one of these cities

4. Yaktown is ranked #6--it could be worse

3. My last name has to account for more then geography

Shopping therapy

2010-11-11T17:04:00.000-08:00

My sistas are doing this together in Portland without me and I'm jealous.

In order to feel apart of the fun, I went shopping today. Nothing like a mall to channel my favorite ladies!

PS. I gave into societal pressures and started my own blog...Check it out.

http://smartplacesyoullgo.blogspot.com/

If you want Princesses, Marry a Queen!

2010-11-04T22:22:00.000-07:00

Of our many most excellent family mottos, perhaps the recent is the best yet: "If you want Princesses, Marry a Queen." It truly captures my life in a nutshell.
Above is a picture of the Smart Family Royalty, all in their West Valley High School Homecoming Crowns. Hey, what is Keith doing in that picture?! Keith and Cole kept asking to wear a "hat" as well. Keithy keep staring, maybe someday you'll have the panache to date a pretty girl that wears a crown.

This post was prompted by Lil' D's selection as the 2010 West Valley High's Homecoming Queen. This is apparently a big deal for young women. Actually, it seems to be a big deal to women of all ages. I don't remember Brent being all that excited to be on West Valley's Homecoming Court, nor do I remember Shea being disappointed that he was not chosen to be on Court. So I can only assume that interest in this event is basically a matter of gender.

Below is a picture of Sheila as a member of the West Valley High School Homecoming Court in 1977. Pretty cute, huh?!

Our future Princess, Baby Ally.

Below is a family picture that amply demonstrates that who you marry truly matters. I married the best looking girl that I could. My children should be eternally grateful for my determination to marry up--way up!

Sydney frequently asks, "How did YOU (pointing to me) get THAT (pointing to her mother)?!" Indeed!

Twinkie Twins

2010-10-27T19:38:00.000-07:00

When I was a super senior at BYU and Syd was a freshman, in order to increase our sister bonding time; we decided to take a class together. However our majors were not even remotely related so we decided an elective course would be the way to go. As the older, wiser sister I suggested we take an ice hockey class based on the following factors:

1. We’re half Canadian and our Grandpa played so it’s totally in our blood

2. We’ve seen all the Mighty Duck movies—it didn’t look that hard

3. I had always wanted to take the class and I couldn’t find anyone ~~dumb enough~~ willing to take it with me

4. It might be a good chance to meet boys

5. It would be a great work out

6. I knew we’d have some awesome stories

Looking back, I actually think I registered Syd for all her classes her first semester and might have snuck the ice hockey class in there unbeknown to her. Anything for a chance to bond with my sister, right? On the first day of class, I realized I may have overestimated our abilities. But that was the least of our worries. As I looked around the rink, I noticed the class was seriously lacking members of female sex. On the first day there was one normally looking girl, besides us, but that was the last time we saw her until the final day of the semester. There was one other “girl” but she more closely resembled the opposite sex—she body slammed boys like they were feathers. She didn’t really count as a member of the “pink” team which left Syd and I to represent the ladies in our class. As if we didn’t stick out enough, we showed up to class one day (unknown to the other sister) in matching outfits—pale yellow sweaters and black yoga pants. One of our socially awkward teammates nicknamed us the “Twinkie Twins” and our fate in the class was sealed. After that day, Syd was so mad at me for signing her up; she rarely spoke to be during our class. We both passed the class, grateful that our grade was not based on our ability to score, pass, or skate.

Fast forward a few years, I still love hockey and am the proud owner of my own hockey skates and sticks (even if I rarely use them). I love any sport that allows players to duke it out until they fall to the ice before the refs will break it up. It’s hard core and not for the faint of heart. DC has a team, the Capitals, and they actually did pretty well last season. I was lucky enough to win tickets to last week’s game. We ended up having great seats—10 rows up on center ice—right in the middle of all the actions. Unfortunately, the Caps lost but we did get to see 2 great fights. Hockey brings out an interesting crowd and the house was packed. I brought Melissa with me and was so glad I did because she flirted her way to free diet cokes from the guys next to us. It didn’t matter that they were old—anything for a free diet coke! It was a fun night and brought back so many great memories of the glory days of the Twinkie Twins!! Syd, should we bust out the skates at Christmas?

Come Back!!

2010-10-14T19:27:00.000-07:00

The past 6 days have been pure bliss!! Between late nights chats, great dinners, shopping trips, and a little bit of touristy stuff, Mom and Patty have been spoiling me like crazy. We fit a lot into their visit like a White House tour, Arlington cemetery, Smithsonian museums, Capitol tour, eastern market, and the Holocaust museum. I even dragged them to my work conference and our 4th Annual I fall for Fall party. Mom and Patty made the jaunt to the east coast and the party didn't stop until they got back on the plane to go home. I am seriously going through withdrawals. I loved getting some much needed motherly advice and being spoiled by gifts, shopping sprees (Patty and Mom in a mall is a dangerous combo!), homemade meals, and great restaurants. Please come back soon!!! But next make sure to do a better job of screening calls from Big D and Lil' D. They each called on average every couple of hours and once because they couldn't find any bread in the house. Call me crazy but when most people run out of bread they go to the grocery store to get more. Just a thought.

Thank You, Darel

2010-10-03T14:42:00.000-07:00

Thank you, Darel, for letting the Smart Family relive its glory days

Thank you for pretending to be asleep so that Syd and I could make our surprise complete

Thank you for not judging us when we wore these all weekend.

Thank you for giving me a reason to squeeze these babies

Thanks for allowing us to celebrate our favorite oldest sistas big day

Thank you for giving Brent a reason to bust this shirt out. It's a tragedy we missed getting a picture of him in his letterman jacket. Cole and Keith were sad to learn that Number 41 is now retired at WVHS.

Thanks for giving Durrelly one last opportunity to walk the red carpet at the WVHS Homecoming Game.

Thanks for allowing Syd to wear this all weekend.

Thanks for allowing Syd and I a chance to babysit these guys. It made us have a deeper appreciation for Darc’s life.

Thanks for helping Cole put on his “hat”

Thank you for allowing me to fly 3,000 miles to serve your friends dinner like an unpaid waitress (I would have taken a picture but I was too busy serving plates of Shelly’s deliciousness to the 30 teenyboppers scattered around our house)

Thank you for representing the last of the Smarts so well at WVHS

Thank you, Darel, for keepin’ in real

She-Wolf's Birthdayness

2010-09-12T17:07:00.001-07:00

In true Smart Family tradition, "Birthdayness" is more then just a one day affair. In order stretch Mom's special day out a little longer and let her know that we can't go much longer with her not being on the American continent, the sibs composed a few of our favorite things and memories about Mom.

1. Jesus Reyna. I can't find Jesus Reyna! Where is Jesus Reyna?!!!

2. Driving to Grandma Great's funeral in Canada and helping dress Grandma for burial. That was a neat trip because it was just me and Mom.

3. Mom's help when Keith and Cole were born. I could not have survived that first week if mom hadn't flown out to Boston. I was a wreck with the boys in the NICU and since they came so early I was not prepared. Mom got me everything I needed so I could live in the NICU and be there with the boys. She came back 2 weeks later and lived the sleepless-night routine that comes with newborn, premie twins. She still cooked, cleaned and did laundry. I'll never forget how grateful I was to have her there taking care of me so I could take care of my children. This was the beginning of when I started to realize what it means to be a mother and realized that I could never thank her enough for all she has done for me.

4. Darel's Tupac sugar cookie. Mom: "Who's To-Pack?"

5. Mom surprising me in the back seat of Chelsea's car when I flew to D.C. for a visit a few years ago.

6. Climbing Mt. Hood with mom when she was 40. I remember thinking how proud I was of her. I knew it was a really difficult thing for her but she did it and I was so proud that my mom was so cool (and still is).

7. Mom has excellent taste. I've always appreciated that about her.

8. I love Mom's book collection in her closet. Whenever I'm home, I raid it.

9. Mom's thoughtfulness. She remembers everything! If I just mention that I like something in passing, she mails it to me or gives it to me for my birthday or for no reason at all. She's constantly trying to make everyone around her happy.

10. Mom is one of the very best listeners in the whole world. She is truly one of my favorite people to talk to because she actually listens to what I am saying. That is a rare talent that has blessed me so much.

11. Her pantry. I remember in college the first thing I would do when I came home for a visit is just open it up and stare. I would have to plan my snacks carefully so I could fit in all the good stuff I wanted while I was home.

1. I love that she always has a bunch of avocados waiting for me when I come home. They are my favorite thing but way too expensive for me to buy. I don’t have to ask (though she does always ask what I want her to make when I come home) but I always know there will be some yummy avocados waiting for me in the pantry. And if we don’t get around to eating them, she doesn’t judge me if I pack them in my suitcase to take back with me!

2. I basically went on my mission because of Mom. Dad attended a wrestling tournament with Shea and wasn’t able to take me to the MTC (priorities???). So Grandma Phyl, Mom, and the sistas took me. As we were pulling into the parking lot, I had a mild nervous breakdown. Ok so it was more of a panic moment but Mom talked me away from the ledge and reminded me of the reasons I wanted to go on a mission. I never would have entered the MTC doors if it wasn’t for my calm, cool collected mom.

3. Mom always talked me out of doing stupid things I thought were cool but that she knew I would regret. Like the time I wanted to shave the bottom half of my hair (I swear it was cool at the time!) in order to put my hair in a pony tail better. Thanks Mom, for not giving in to my pleas!! What was I thinking??

4. Mom is a great friend. She’s loyal, trustworthy, a good listener, and a great advocate.

5. She is generous. One of my favorite Smart sistas traditions was taking shopping trips to Seattle and Portland. Mom would spend the whole day helping us find cute things. Let’s be honest, she always found a few things for herself but the focus was always on us/

6. I love that mom feeds the whole world. No one leaves the Smart house without gaining a minimum of 5 lbs. There are always strangers around the kitchen table who come from wide and far to sample her cuisine and experience her hospitality. She fed one family going through a rough time every Sunday for an entire year.

7. She-She is the original party planner. From ornate, money filled birthday cakes to enough decorations to beautify a small country; Mom knows how to throw a good party.

8. Mom has a great relationship with her parents and with Dad’s parents.

9. I loved taking swimming lessons with mom and then helping her with the lessons as we go older. Then as we got even older she would drown us while playing pool basketball!

10. She supports me no matter what I want to do with my life. Whether I’m 18 and traveling to a third world country or choosing to move to 3,000 miles from home, she lets me be me.

1. How supportive Mom is with everything we do. I think she was more excited about my college graduation than I was, but it meant so much to have her there. And it meant even more to know how supportive she has been through the last 4 1/2 years. Graduating from college is just one example of how devoted Shelly is as a mom. I love how she makes a big deal of all our accomplishments and never fails to make us feel special.

2. This is would not be a Shelly appreciation post without a mention of her fabulous cooking skills. Its obvious Mom is in a league of her own when it comes to cooking, but what puts mom in that league is her constant efforts to please everyone's tastebuds. I cannot remember a day when Mom did not pack me a lunch or remember to make a special salad with no dressing for me. She never forgets what I love, or what anyone loves for that matter. My sophomore year of high school Mom even began putting my french toast on a paper "to-go" plate so that I could take my breakfast to seminary with me. Now THAT is love!

3. Mom might be the best advice-giver ever. Whenever I'm unsure how to approach a situation, or I need advice on how to respond or act in a certain situation, I always call her. It might be all the Jane Austen books and movies, but Mom sure has propriety. I'm not sure I've learned any of it as much as she'd hoped, but I still always go to her when I need help with a difficult decision.

4. Mom is the best grandma! Even though Nick and I don't have kids of our own yet, I love to see how mom adores her grandbabies. I'm sure she loved and squeezed and spoiled us just as much when we were little babies. It is so cute to see her so excited when she is spending time with them. It just shows how important family is to mom.

5. It also would not be a birthday post if I didn't mention Mom's incredibly fantastic physique. Mom is hot! Never would she be caught dead in Mom-jeans, or weird stretchy pants after 1988. I think all the Smart sistas can thank their lucky stars that they had a mother who taught them how to dress. Mom is always so chic and classy and I am never embarrassed to admit that we might have the same sweater in several different colors.

6. This is just a memory of Mom, but it definitely shows what a special Mom she is. I will never get how special it was in the Brides room on my wedding day. Mom was so attentive to me and just made me feel so special my whole wedding day. She even dealt with a Bridezilla like me in a dignified way throughout my entire engagement. And lets be honest - Shell knows how to plan a party!

7. No matter how much Dad can brag about his dance moves, we all know we inherited our booty shakin' skills from Mom. The girl can dance, and she has great taste in Motown tunes. I will never forget all the Smart family dance parties when Mom and Dad put us all to shame.

8. Mom is charitable, probably one of the most charitable people I know. And Mom never serves because "she has to." She always serves others out of love and compassion. She is constantly giving her time as well as many others things just to help others. Mom always taught us to be kind to everyone. When I told her Shaun Sharma had bad B.O. in the fourth grade and that I didn't want to sit next to him despite our last names starting with the same letter, Mom said, "Maybe his family can't afford nice deodorant. You should be nice to him, etc." And even though Shaun's dad is a cardiologist and they live in perhaps the biggest house on Scenic Drive, Mom was still trying to teach me to find the best in people.

9. Mom is always right. In the six grade when I showed up to gym class having not shaved my legs over the summer LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, I went home complaining to mom that I didn't want to be called a "wolly mammoth" anymore, begging her to buy me a razor. She told me that one I started shaving my legs, I couldn't stop shaving my legs and that I should seriously think about my decision before rashly giving in to peer pressure. Like an obedient 12 year old, I stole my sister's razor and shaved my legs that night. When I tried to lie about it, Mom caught me in the lie and asked me if I enjoyed having to shave my legs everyday. I sadly had to admit that she was right, and that shaving my legs was not all it was cracked up to be. Plus, instead of being called "Wolly Mammoth," I was called Edward Scissorhands for my superb shaving skills and abnormal amounts of band-aids.

10. Mom loves to give. My last favorite memory of Mom occurs every Christmas when I'm helping Darel wrap the last remaining presents. Mom is always so excited to pull out presents from the closet and explain how she found this for someone, or how she can't wait to see how excited so-and-so is when they unwrap this present. It is so fun to see her excited because I truly believe that seeing her kids happy is one of mom's favorite things.

1.Cinnamon rolls
2. Cutting my hair and talking with her
3. Cooking with her specifically cookies
4. All of her emails and packages she sends I think a lot of other missionaries are jealous of me for that.
5. How flexible she is with letting me do what I've wanted to do
6. Being a great example and drawing the line by telling me things I should or shouldn't do when necessary. (Her opinion is included in that)
7. Her sincerity when giving compliments to people. she focus's on what people are really good at and lets people know what those things may be, she is hearty in her approbation and lavish in her praise of others
8. Her listening skills and responding to others (she gives practical advice and thoughtful answers.)
9. Her fun loving nature and laid back personality, she knows when it is time to be serious and when it is time to have fun.
10. Her good looks, it has helped me more than she knows.

She knows EXACTLY what kind of food I like and she will still buy/make it even though she hates it; chicken roll ups, Hawaiian haystacks, Hot Cheetos, and Sour Punch Straws.
Trust. I can tell mom anything and I know it will never get out. I trust her more than anyone and I can talk to her about everything.
She makes me breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day.
She listens. Everyday after school I go in her room (while she is doing my laundry) and we talk for at least a half an hour about how our days went. She genuinely wants to know about my day and gives the BEST advice.
She brings stuff I forget to school—no matter what.
She takes me seriously and treats me like I’m important.
She’s selfless; we go out to dinner once a week with dad—she usually let’s me pick.
We get pedicures once a month together.
She worries about me (sometimes a little too much), but still trusts me to make the right decisions.
She has a special nickname for me; Belle.
She has the ability to forgive me immediately, even when I’m being a bratty teenager.
She’s my best friend. (I know this last one is corny, but it’s true)

E. Dehellerin's-- A Paris Institution

2010-09-11T03:28:00.001-07:00

Most of you who have seen the movie Julie and Julia and will remember the scene where Julie Child visits the cooking supply store in Paris to purchase everything she needed to become a great French cook. The store was Dehellerin’s. Its an institution for real chefs in Paris. Its where chefs buy things cooking related that can be had no where else in the world. It’s where they take their copper sauce pans to be re-tinned. It’s where wanna-be-chefs hang out and dream. At the entrance of Dehellerin’s, we were randomly approached by a very giddy middle-aged women from London who wanted to show us all that she had just purchased, “They’ve got everything in there! Have you ever seen herb scissors like these?” she asked. I was thinking to myself, “I didn’t even know there was such a thing as ‘herb scissors’ let alone specialized or unique ‘herb scissors.’” Who knew?

Dehellerin’s looked like a mess in the movie. After having actually been inside the store, I’m convinced it was given a thorough Hollywood make over and sanitized for the movie. In real life it’s way messier and way cooler. Dimly lit, with raw hewn timbers exposed, it’s has the feel of the Seattle Goodwill store, but chic and way more expensive. There’s stuff everywhere. I saw no computers behind the counter—I’m pretty sure that our tab was calculated on an abacus. It’s a wonder they have even have electricity. It was truly remarkable that the helpful clerks were immediately able to locate everything that we asked them about.

The cook that I sleep with was giddy the moment she crossed the threshold and upon entry exclaimed, “How am I going to get all of this home?” “Indeed,” I mused. This was an experience for the She-wolf that I was just happy to witness. What concerned me most was not that she wanted to buy out the store, but rather her absolute confidence that she didn’t need to buy everything because she would be back and could get it next time. Say what?! What a silly boy I was to even think that this was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. So, if you need us to pick you up a little something from Dehellerin’s, just put it on a list, I’m sure the She-wolf would love to help you out.

Graduation Pour Deux

2010-09-10T19:29:00.000-07:00

I had to include this picture just because Syd looked so darn cute!

A very proud mother and her way "SMART" daughter!

Sydney and Nick Jordan graduated last month. Well actually they just walked, but graduation is "almost" a formality at this point. We are really proud of them and look forward to what next year brings in terms of grad school, etc. I know they are excited to progress and move into the real world beyond Happy Valley, Utah, even that means more schooling.

Party On

2010-09-09T16:13:00.000-07:00

Happy 50th Birthday, Mom!!!

As I've reflected on Mom's life today, I couldn't help but think of all that she's accomplished in her 50 years.
She has a marriage worth emulating, largely due to her ability to serve and listen. Keep in mind she must listen to my dad say the same things over and over and over and over again. It's a true sacrifice...
She's given birth to 6 children and been able to raise 5 to adulthood. Now that I'm a mother, I can truly appreciate what that entails. Four of her children who are old enough have been to and are currently worthy to attend the temple. Two of her children have served (or are serving missions). Two of her children are sealed in the temple to incredible, hard-working people. All three of her children who are old enough have Bachelor degrees. She's an A-mazing Grandma. I could go on and on, but seriously, just take my word on this one.
Mom has served diligently in numerous callings in the church including the Young Women, the Relief Society and the Primary programs. She serves in the temple weekly. Who knows how many lives she has changed through her service?
She's well-read. I can always know the latest books to read by talking to her. She's never steered me wrong.
She's physically active. Mom works out daily. She has climbed Mt. Hood, an 11,000 foot peak and can still take it to the lake on water skis.

She's an accomplished cook, entertainer and decorator. No week passes by without her entertaining people: church leaders and members, close or distant relatives, friends of her children, missionaries and sometimes perfect strangers. Not only are her dishes delectable, but they are a feast for the eyes as well. In addition to being an exquisite entertainer, she has mastered the art of service. She can anticipate what those around her need before they ask. She remembers what each of her kids like and don't like and she plans meals accordingly.
She has learned how to furnish and decorate like nobody I know. And she has even earned the status of Fashion Icon, well at least in our family. It's true, like my dad always says, she's "smokin' hot"! How many 50 year olds can say that?

I know there are things I'm missing but I had to share a few things that struck me today as I reflected on what she's accomplished and hope that by the time I'm 50 I can say that I've spent my time as wisely as she has spent hers. I'm a direct beneficiary of how Mom has chosen to spend her fifty years so far.
And so in closing, to let mom know that turning 50 is not the end, it is necessary to quote Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar, "Party on, (Mom)! Party on!"

Planes, Cruise ships, and Automobiles

2010-08-21T11:33:00.000-07:00

This would accurately describe the last 10 days for Darel and I. When my roommates' little sister came up with the idea to go to Greece, we selflessly volunteered to chaperone. Not wanting to be without a sister, I decided to invite Darel, my only sister with nothing to do and (the ‘rents) money to burn. We decided a Mediterranean cruise would be the perfect setting for our own “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants”. We started in Italy and headed to Croatia, Turkey, the Greek Isles, and back to Italy.

While on our adventure we used a lot of different forms of transportation everything from cable cars to donkeys.

Here are some pics of us utilizing the various kinds of transportation.

The Splendour of the Seas--our home for 7 days

We climbed 600 stairs....Well actually it was more like 20 stairs--we rode the donkeys most of the way to the top of Santorini Island!

We danced...if you could call it that.

We took water taxis

We took gondolas which just happened to have an attractive gondolier:)

Meet Clementine, the best little rented car in Corfu, Greece. As usual, I drove and Meliss navigated.

We took ski boats

We swam in the Adriatic Sea and the Mediterranean Sea

We rode camels

We drove ATVs. One may have broken down and caused us to almost miss our cruise ship. Luckily, we had a minor with us and they won't leave a minor behind. I am so glad Darel came with us!

While we weren't gallivanting in port cities, we also spent time getting dressed up for amazing dinners and drinking pina colodas by the pool!

Basically it was one of the greatest vacations full of all my favorite things: sun, stamps in my passport, and my favorite girls. I only wish the other sistas and Shelly could have been with us! Darel will be sharing more deats of our adventures soon!

Any worth doing, is worth overdoing!

2010-08-01T19:30:00.000-07:00

Mt. Hood right after our climb.

Me wishing someone would carry me to the top.

This team was rappeling off the summit. The ice was crappy about 100' from the summit and we couldn't cut steps. We used permanent anchors (the yellow stakes in the previous picture) to protect our climb.

Our route

Nick on the summit, with Mt. Rainier in the background. We were on the summit of Mt. Rainier 3 days later.

Nick looking down at our route.

Yes that's a rock under my head, and yes I really was that tired. This was from my climb with Lil D on Mt. Adams.

Tent City on Mt. Rainier

Brent and Nick cooking dinner at base camp on Mt. Rainier

Big crevasse on the Ingraham glacier on Mt. Rainier

Nick belaying Brent across a very deep crevasse

Brent negotiating a big crevasse on Mt. Rainier

Anyone who knows the Super Smarts are keenly aware that we believe in mottos, or family mantras. This is something akin to Tony Robbins' "Unleash the Power Within" or Mao Tse Tung's "Communism is a hammer we use to crush the enemy." The Smart family has enjoyed a number of memorable family mottos over the years. The following is a partial list of some of sayings that have made us who we collectively are today:

1. Make it happen
2. Shut up and work (my personal favorite)

3. Scratch and Claw

4. Elbows and Fannies ( as in, that's all I want to see out of you kids!)

5. Big dogs to the top

6. High speed, low drag
7. You are nature's greatest miracle

8. You gotta believe

9. Pray hard, work harder

10. Do the right thing

There are many others, of course, which can and should be shared, but this is the fodder of future posts on my personal blog--Darrell's Yakimania. As patriarch of the Smart family, I felt it my God-given responsibility to inspire and be inspirational. How these sayings would come about is that I would get an excellent idea in my brain, feel that it needed to be communicated to my children, and then I would continue to repeat the motto over and over until all of the kids absolutely loved the motto and had made it part of their personal lives. It was really quite simple. And, as it turned out, totally inspirational. (I am not sure why I have not written a book on parenting. I think I would entitle it: Dr. Phil is a Chump! Smarter Parenting Ideas from the Trenches.)

FYI: our family motto while at Lake Cocollala was, "In Search of Glass."

Unfortunately, I cannot recall every gem of a motto that has inspired our family over the years, but trust me when I say, each and every one of them was necessary, special and uplifting.

Okay, now to the point of this post. Our most recent motto has been "Any worth doing, is worth over doing." This motto says a lot about who we are, and how we should live. In July I climbed a lot with family members. We repeated this motto frequently because it seemed so right. In particular, the week that Nick and I attempted to climb Mt. Hood, complete Dynamited Cave, climb Mt. Rainier and then bike the 100 miles back from Mt. Rainier to Yakima. Okay, okay, it was a bit ambitious. What we ended up doing was climbing Mt. Hood and Mt. Rainier, back to back. It was awesome. This is something that I have always wanted to do. Now if I can just figure out how to fit Mt. Adams into that week, I would feel that I had accomplished something.
Above are some pics from our climbs on Mt. Hood and Mt. Rainier.

Durrelly

2010-07-29T14:58:00.000-07:00

Durrell (Darrell) and Shelly (Sheila) are friends because they both know what it's like to have people jealous of them. (If you haven't seen Clueless please stop reading this blog, you are no longer welcome here)
Durrell + Shelly = Durrelly
In case you forgot what raw popularity looks like, see exhibit A.

EXHIBIT A (aka Durrelly)

Popular, effortlessly cool, and completely chic = My parents (mostly Shelly, but Hey! Even Durrell deserves some credit for his pure awesomeness)

They've been married 31 years and even though this post is a little late, I'm pretty sure we're all still amazed they raised six crazy kids and lived to not only tell the tale, but do so while looking like the Homecoming Queen and King.

Cheers Durrelly!

Graduation's Grand Marshall

2010-06-05T23:08:00.001-07:00

Lil D was selected to be the Grand Marshall for Graduation. This means that she escorted the Graduating Seniors to their seats at the beginning of Graduation. Apparently this is a big deal because it involved shopping for a new dress and new shoes. I'm starting to believe that women have an inate ability to create "big events" necessitating the purchase of new clothing--and in particular new shoes.

Well, I have to say that she looked stunning. I have included a picture of Lil D and Little JoJo (Jordana), Darel's best friend, who was also selected to be an usher for Graduation. I had to take a picture of their shoes, which totally made their outfits, but which unfortunately, will probably never be worn again.

Petunia Boy

2010-05-22T19:15:00.000-07:00

You know you are offspring of the great Petunia Boy (PB) if you have trimmed arborvitaes at midnight with the aid of the a head lamp, planted 200 box woods a few hours before Prom, spent spring break laying sawed, or planting any of the 6,000 tulips bulbs buried on the Smart property. PB’s was once quoted as saying, “the only reason I had children is so that I could have Yard Slaves”. And he lived by this philosophy. Saturday morning at the Smart household started early and finished with headlamps, sweat, blood, and some tears—and PB loved every moment of it. PB comes from a long line of garden slave drivers including Gma Phyl (who still comes to our house and manages to pick trash bags full of weeds before everyone else even gets out of bed) and Gma Pyper who rumor has it managed to get rid of her back lawn to make more room for her flower beds. As a result of forced yard slave labor, one does not claim Petunia Boy as a parent unless they have some sort of interest in horticulture.

Because of this, it has always been my dream to go to Holland during the tulip season. When my recent work trip routed my through the Netherlands right during tulip season, I decided to take some time to see my favorite flowers. I only had a day and a half but I made the most of it. I signed up for a tour and as luck would have it I was the only person who didn’t qualify for a senior citizen discount. I did however meet some nice elderly peeps including a couple from Portland and a Brazilian woman that spoke no English and thought if she kept speaking to me in Portuguese I would eventually understand her. The flowers were seriously incredible! I took over one hundred pictures. There weren’t only tulips but lots of other flowers and they even had a lily exhibit with lilies the size of my head

I also was able to see the house where Anne Frank and her family lived for 2 years hidden until they were found and taken to concentration camps. This is the secret passageway that was normally hidden behind a bookcase.

Thanks to the volcanic ash, I was also able to see the Van Gough museum, take a jog along the Amster River, and visit the Bag and Purse Museum. A museum dedicated to history of purses and bags and yes it was as amazing as it sounds. It was next to the Rembrandt Museum and I only had time for one—don’t judge. It was the only time I felt a desire to steal something from a museum—they had the most incredible purses which I would have loved to add to my collection.

Can You Say ASB President?!

2010-05-08T18:24:00.000-07:00

Darel has often felt that she lives in the shadow of her older siblings. I have told her that her motto needs to be "Best for Last" and that only one of my children was "blessed" with my name. At that reminder, she usually grumbles something unintelligible, but I suspect has something to do with those great existential questions, "Where did I come from?" and "How do I get the heck outta here?" Her siblings have all been good students, involved in athletics and student government. She feels the pressure, and worries that she somehow does not quite measure up. In an effort to set herself apart, she decided to run for ASB President--something none of her siblings dared to attempt. I was just proud of her for having the courage to run. It's hard to run and then not win. She was Speaker of the House in ASB this year and did a fabulous job. The faculty advisor for ASB repeatedly told us how hard Darel was working in ASB. Despite a very demanding academic schedule, she has found the time to be a great student leader.

As you might have suspected, I generously volunteered to be her campaign manager. I was sorely disappointed when she turned this offer down. I explained that, although I had never been popular enough to run for school office, that I was keenly interested in politics and would assemble an impressive campaign machine and quickly have the troops marshalled for "Team Smart." She simple cringed and said, "Thanks, but no thanks Dad. I want to win." I have no idea what she meant by that last comment, since I was entirely confident that I could deliver the biggest ASB prize to her doorstep. Instead she worked with Brandon Chin (who incidentally deserves a post or two himself), a friend of hers who was running for ASB Vice President. They worked hard and created some most excellent posters, including the ever favorite, although somewhat trite, "Be Smart, Vote Smart."

It was a long hard two week campaign, that ended with a painfully protracted 2-day delayed announcement of the winner. In the end, Lil D prevailed and is so excited about being WVHS' ASB President. The evening following the announcement, I asked her to do the dishes. She saucily replied, "Does the ASB President have to do the dishes?" I reminded her that I didn't vote for her, that her jurisdiction as ASB President ends when she exits the doors of WVHS and that because of that particular remark, that she would be helping me in the garden on Saturday.

Actually, Lil D is very humble and is nice to everyone. And we really like her friends. They are respectful and excellent students. She was so excited that her best friends who were running for ASB positions (Jordana and Brandon) also won. We are proud of her and know she will be an excellent ASB President. Congratulations Lil D!!!

Above are a couple of pics of Lil D and Jordana from Prom.

For a good time...Call CJ!

2010-05-02T19:49:00.000-07:00

OK, so I know I'm way late on this post, but I just have to recap on my fun East Coast trip taken by myself. To illustrate: I was alone, completely by myself--without children, without strollers, without diapers, without drool, without spit up, without goobers--you get the point.
First, I flew to Boston to attend the wedding of two of my very good friends. It was without a doubt the snazziest wedding I've ever attended. It was on the 38th floor of the Downtown Harvard Club. My only regret is that I wish I had had Brent with me that night. He insisted that I go alone so I could add on the most fun part of my trip--livin' the crazy DC life with Chels!

Time with Chels never disappoints! She has friends in high places (the press secretary for Senator Risch from Idaho) who was able to give us a private Capitol tour. It pays to be a VIP, or at least to be related to one or at least to have a relation who rubs shoulders with them. However distantly, I felt like a VIP for a day.

Here I am, placing my foot in the very center of the Capitol which also happens to be the center of the District of Columbia. We were told rubbing your foot there brings good luck. I think I walked over it a few "extra" times just in case.

And here we are next to my favorite statue in the Capitol Rotunda. It has 3 key suffragettes carved in marble: Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Susan B. Anthony and Lucretia Mott. Behind the women, there is a blank mound of marble. No one is sure if it will always be left faceless or if someday the first woman president will be carved here. Personally, I hope it's always left blank as a symbol for all women but what do I know?

We hit a few other hotspots: some of my personal favs and others were things I'd missed on my previous trips to DC. It was all around fun for someone as history-nerdy as me. I could wander around that whole city for days all by myself. But I did miss Brent and the kids horribly--more than I ever anticipated and was really, really glad to see them all again.

And I can't end my post without a "Shout Out" to Chels and her roomies who are the most popular girls in all of DC. Did you know that they had 90 people attend their housewarming party a few weeks ago? 90 PEOPLE!!! Seriously, do I even know 90 people?
Love to you ladies! Thanks for being so fun (and so popular)! I think your popularity might have rubbed off on me--at least for the weekend!

Empire State of Mind

2010-04-08T18:45:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, I only write on a rare occasions. I usually don't because of my poor writing skills, especially compared to the rest of my family. But Chelsea has been bugging me for 2 weeks to blog-- So I'm blogging about my interesting life- or so it was for a week. Chelsea this one is for you. This past Spring Break I flew down to see Chelsea in Washington D.C. While in D.C./NYC, Chels and i basically did three things- shopping, eating and of course some sister bonding. I would tell you all the deets about my vaca but that could take up 10 pages, so I will do my best to briefly inform you of everything! From screaming at Obama's helicopter to dining in JFK's old house to getting winked at by Corbin Bleu, Chelsea and I experienced the East Coast like celebrities. Not only were we practically famous, we ate out at all the famous places too. Some of those being; Busboys and Poets, Georgetown cupcakes, Eastern Market, Little Italy and Suefside. We also ate at Gadsby's Tavern, where George Washington stayed, (but Chelsea can tell you about that one later). The Saturday that I arrived Chelsea took me to the city of D.C. and we walked around looking at at the sights/cherry blossoms, we also went paddleboating right by all the monuments. On Monday Chelsea skipped work for some serious shopping in Leesburg, which normally takes only 45 minutes, but thanks to my mapping skills we got there in just under 2 hours. Wednesday it was take your sister to work day and I got to go to a pretty interesting meeting about living conditions for women in Africa. Right after that, we went to the Peruvian Embassy, where an author spoke about being bi-racial. Thursday we headed off to NYC and nearly missed our bus and I got to see the wrath of Chelsea (but I'll explain more about that later). When we got there we didn't really feel like walking around much, so we took a tour boat ride. It lasted two hours, and 30 minutes into it, Chelsea and I were ready to jump off. We thought it would be a good idea to sit outside on top... until the wind reached 300 miles an hour. After reaching land, it was time for us to go to In The Heights starring Corbin Bleu. It was the best broadway show I have ever seen! Especially after Corbin winked at us. After the show Chels and I contemplated on getting a picture taken with him for $60 but we thought the money could go to something more useful- fake designer purses. On Friday, Chelsea's birthday we shopped most of the day and soaked up the essence of NYC. We decided to put our names in the lottery for Wicked, if you won you received FRONT ROW, $25 tickets. A couple minutes after we put our names in, they called Chelsea's name!! I was so excited I wanted to scream, but then I realized I was in a public place-- I could barely contain it. I think Chelsea was a little embarrased of me but hey, how often do you win FRONT ROW $25 tickets to a broadway play in New York? Because we won tickets, we had to change our bus tickets to a later time to leave that night. Little did we know it would soon become the worst bus ride of our lives. After leaving Wicked a little early and racing to catch our bus, the bus was late. While we waited we were surrounded by mysterious drugs, baby daddy's and a bus driver who didn't speak any English. Did I mention that I had the worst migrain ever and Chelsea was acting like Medusa so we would get there on time. Let's just say, I was near tears. Putting that aside, everything in NYC was surreal, I couldnt believe I was actually there. It's non-stop craziness and I loved every minute of it. Chelsea is a blast and we always get along so well. I had such an awesome time and I experienced the East Coast just the way I wanted. Thanks Chelsea!

Here are a FEW pictures we took while there:

First day in D.C.; Townhouses in Georgetown

Paddleboating

Cherry Blossoms

Dinner at JFK's old house-- No big deal.

My little African kids

La Casa Blanca

Statue of Liberty; Boat ride from down under.

Times Square, giving ourselves Sephora Makeovers

Haling a taxi for the first time; I was a regular.

Sitting in Central Park.

In the Heights- Corbin Bleu totally winked at us.

Winning front row, $25 tickets to Wicked.

C Jizzle Fo' Shizzle

2010-04-02T21:39:00.000-07:00

Its someone's BIRTHDAY! Here are 10 reasons why Chelsea Jan Smart is the coolest person ever...

1. Chels is the best Aunt ever. She loves C, K, & A so much and they love her too. She is always willing to play with them and change diapers too! (Darel and I LOVE to play with them ... but diapers ... not so much)

2. CJ is beyond the definition of fashionista. Every time she comes home she's got a cute new shirt, bag, or piece of jewelry that is so unique and fun. She's always finding new ways to be innovative with her style and make a statement.

3. Chels is so smart - literally. She just took the LSAT (did awesome), speaks a second language (learning a third), knows everything about politics, and got an A in Econ at BYU. (Okay, the last one was a joke, but seriously - Chels is a little smartypants)

4. Chels is fun. She is always thinking of fun things to do and amazing places to go. She's got such a spirit of adventure and has a great way of influencing others to be adventurous too.

5. Chels has an appreciation for amazing entertainment. Her favorite movie is "From Justin to Kelly," starring Justin Guarini and Kelly Clarkson. She also knows every musical from Newsies to Mamma Mia and she is always educating me with the newest great flick.

6. Chels has NO fear! She will try anything and nothing seems to get to her when she's in a tough situation. If she hasn't tried it yet, you can bet that someday she will try it just to prove that she can do anything.

7. Chels has an AMAZING memory. Every time we argue about something silly, like what Ursula's eels are named in "The Little Mermaid," or something like that - I know I'm going to loose! She seriously remembers everything - including birthdays, important events, and big days in everyone's life. She never forgets to send a sweet note or card to let you know she's thinking about you.

8. This one is obvious, but I will say it anyway. Chels is BEAUTIFUL! Seriously, everyone I know always comments on how pretty she is and how her gorgeous skin/hair/eyes makes her a candidate for multiple-race affiliation. Is she half Poly? Or maybe a spicy Latino? No one really knows, but whatever it is ... its working quite nicely.

9. Chels always puts her family first. When we get together Chels is the first to remind us of "traditions" and the importance of family. She's always willing to play games with us and is constantly rounding up the troops to go to a movie or do something together.

10. Chels has a great spirit. She gives great advice and I know its because she's grounded in the gospel. She served a full-time mission and she understands the big picture. She's so kind and always willing to share her gifts with others.

Chels! I love you so much and I hope you are having a great birthday!

Pad Thai and a side of Sushi

2010-03-24T14:58:00.000-07:00

I love my job! I remember meeting with a career counselor at BYU when I was still deciding what to study. She asked me what I liked to do and I said, "Travel, can I major in that?". Luckily, she had more insight and encouraged me to seek a degree what would actually make me employable.

As part of my job responsibilities, I was asked to attend a conference in Bangkok, Thailand. The purpose was to discuss the best practices in maternal and child health and family planning in the Asia and Middle East region. So 15 countries all met together to discuss what was working and what isn't in their countries. It was an amazing learning experience to rub shoulders with very impressive people.

I took advantage of the opportunity of being in such an amazing country and tried to act like a local as much as possible. I drank from coconuts.

Got an "fish" pedicure. Which is basically where you put your feet in a fish tank and all these tiny fish eat all the dead skin off of them. Sick, I know, but the end result is amazing!

Spa treatments are so cheap there I also got a regular pedicure, a manicure, a facial, and a hour and half massage!

I visited the many temples.

Learned to dance--I missed the dance gene!

Attended sacrament meeting in Thai.

And even used interested toilets.

On the way back I decided to stay a night in Tokyo in order to relive some childhood memories of being forced to eat with chopsticks, taking 7 am Japanese classes, and not owing any English books.

I didn't have a lot of time but I did manage to eat one of the most amazing (and most expensive) meals of my life eaten with real chopsticks, served by women in kimonos. And I explored a little of the city. Tokyo is the largest and cleanest city, I have ever seen. Unfortunately, my knowledge of head, shoulders, knees, and toes in Japanese didn't serve me well but I hopefully next time Dad will be able to come with me!

Tolo

2010-03-21T19:50:00.000-07:00

I've never really understood girls and their ability to turn a simple high school dance into a major production that involves weeks of discussions about what girl is going to invite what boy and making sure that the feelings of their friends are not injured too badly, weeks of agonizing shopping to find the perfect dress, special activities to issue an invitation (or accept an invitation), shopping for the young man's tie to make sure that it adequately matches their dress, several trips to alter the dress to perfection, multiple tanning sessions and then hours of prep (or is it "primp") time to make sure that hair, skin and dresses are the picture of perfection. In contrast, my recollection of every major high school dance that I attended involved two simple rules: 1) remembering to take a shower, and 2) a liberal application of Hai Karate cologne. (Adherrence to these simplistic rules might explain my high degree of high school popularity. However, when my kids of have viewed the only extant picture of me at a high school dance they have accused me of being a bit delusional. Who knows for certain? At some level I am sure that my memory is mostly intact to protect my ego.)

In the end, I have to admit that when I witness the final production of my girls in formal dance mode it takes my breath away. It also makes me so very grateful that I married such a beautiful and sophisticated woman who has blessed me with four most exceptional, beautiful and amazing daughters. Here are some pictures of Lil' D, her date Max and her cronies. Beautiful creatures all, don't you agree?!

Blackmail

2010-03-17T21:46:00.000-07:00

Chelsea has graciously given me until Friday to post on the family blog before she publishes some secret scary photos of me. I'm not sure why I really care, since Syd seemed to have pretty well taken care of that with her last post. Thank you, Sydney.
So, in an effort to retain some sort of blog-dignity, I'm finally posting.
Part of the problem with posting on the family blog is that I feel a need to post about some exotic travel or riveting experience. With Sydney reminiscing about Dublin, my parents spending the last 10 days in Tahiti and Chelsea jet-setting in Thailand and Tokyo for the past 2 weeks, I feel that I have little to offer by way of culture, refinement or even relaxation.
Perhaps I can make up for that in raw shock-value. Let me explain. Tonight while making a quick dinner for my fam so I could scoot out the door to go to the Relief Society Birthday dinner (BTW, I really can't figure out why they serve dinner at these things when you have to make dinner for your family anyway. It's not like I'm getting a night off or anything. Anyway, that's a whole other post for another day.)
So, I'm hurriedly making dinner when all of a sudden Cole walks in the kitchen with no pants on and says, "I need help wis my shirt." He was trying to take it off. He turns around and I can see that not only is he pant-less but also diaper-less. I reluctantly help him take off his shirt but quickly put a diaper back on him. The second I turn around again, he strips off his diaper and is off running around the house "ala naked". He eloquently explains, "I just want to run with my pee-pee out." Brilliant. The re-diapering routine continues 3 times as I insist that he wear a diaper unless he is willing to go potty in the toilet. He responds with, "No, I just go potty in my diaper." Triple GRRR.
So, finally, I return to wrapping up dinner preparations when all of a sudden I look in the entryway and see a bare bum up in the air with hands splashing in liquid below. I don't think I have to explain much further. Cole runs up to me and shows me his hands, "My hands dirty." I quickly wash his hands, diaper him for the FOURTH time, clean up the urine with a rag, disinfect the floor with 409 and return to my noodles which are now very, very beyond "al dente". They are more of a soft mush. Awesome.

So, in short, please forgive me for not cataloging my adventures on the family blog. When your days mostly revolve around goobers, boy anatomy, Buzz Lightyear, spit-up, drool, potty-humor, T-rex and an occasional outing to the local library, it somehow pales in comparison to Dublin, Tahiti, Tokyo, Thailand, Paris, London, Peru, several small countries in Africa, and any other destinations I've failed to mention where a member of the Smart family has traversed in the last year.

Sydney, for future reference, you haven't even begun to fully understand the phrase, "Scratch and Claw".

Where is the Love?

2010-03-17T16:03:00.000-07:00

Right HERE. Calling all Smarts ... who is anxiously awaiting our family reunion in July?

I seriously CANNOT wait. And because I have been so blessed with a virtue/vice called impatience, I'm posting pictures to get everyone excited about it as well.

Thank Goodness Utah has Cafe Rio or I would die waiting for an opportunity to get out of here!

Enjoy the pictures everyone! It was a week of looking-great for all of us! ... You can thank me for all the beautiful pictures when you see me in July!

Until then... Scratch and Claw!!!!!

Captain Ron

2010-03-03T09:15:00.000-08:00

If you are stepping onto a boat in a foreign country where the crew does not speak English and your captain gauges the success of his voyage on how many bags of weed he is going to score on the weekend, you know you’re in for a fun trip. Behold—Captain Ron! Actually, his name is “Siki”, but as you can tell from the dreadlocks we had a pretty awesome boat ride. We got to swim with the Rays and the Sharks. The She-wolf and I were fearless—well, not exactly fearless. Every time the brother of the very ray that killed Steve Irwin brushed his jagged death dagger of a tail across our abdomens, we freaked out just a bit. I kept reminding the She-wolf that I was “made for danger” but when she observed my reaction to a 20’ shark swimming towards me, she obviously guessed that I was just playing the macho card. Well, regardless of the extreme hazards we stared down, we had a most excellent nautical picnic with Captain Ron in Moorea, Tahiti.

The She-wolf even loved the "Lagoon Salad" that Captain Ron made us for lunch (Raw tuna, veggies, lime juice and coconut milk--Yummo!)

Elder Smartiepants

2010-02-26T20:51:00.000-08:00

Elder Smart had his first transfer this last week since arriving in the mission field. He is now in Jacksonville a mere 5 hours from my DC! Intent on learning a little more about Jacksonville, NC; a city Shea claims to be a thriving metropolis compared to the trailer park he was living in before. Here are a few fun facts about Jacksonville:

-As of the census^[1] of 2000, there were 66,715 people living in Jacksonville

-The racial makeup of the city was 63.94% White, 23.96% African American, 0.75% Native American, 2.07% Asian, 0.19% Pacific Islander, 5.42% from other races, and 3.67% from two or more races. Hispanic or Latino of any race were 10.05% of the population.

- The median age was 22 years. Jacksonville has been named the youngest city in the nation (lowest median age) on various lists. For every 100 females there were 156.2 males. For every 100 females age 18 and over, there were 178.6 males [maybe I should move there :)].

-The median income for a household in the city was $32,544, and the median income for a family was $33,763. About 12.5% of families and 14.1% of the population were below the poverty line.

We love getting his weekly letters and hearing about all of his adventures. He is growing and changing and has already had the opportunity to be a senior companion. I know Shea's two sisters pictured below are extremely proud of the example he is setting.

Other family members can expect to find incriminating photos of themselves here if their posts continue to be scarce:)

Snowpocalypse

2010-02-05T08:03:00.000-08:00

People in the DC metropolitan area are actually using this phrase in reference to the pending snow storm headed toward the mid Atlantic this weekend. And I thought the Smart family was dramatic! The past two days at work conversations have been inundated with weather updates, snow predictions, and basic end of the world preparations. I don't think any of my coworkers have ever seen a UT winter. On average I have received 15-20 daily emails related to this upcoming storm. I wanted to share a few actual emails send around this week from concerned co workers:

"Folks,
I do not want to freak out anyone. A friend of a friend of mine, who works for the National Weather Bureau, said that around 3 feet of snow is expected over Friday and Saturday. She said that the Bureau is not announcing the news as they do not want to freak out people. I hope the Weather Bureau is wrong, but who knows mother nature's plans... So, stock up and be prepared to shovel..."

"Thanks so much. Please go home before it starts snowing"

"A friend passed along this extremely helpful sight regarding the approaching snowstorm.http://snowpocalypsedc.com/"

"Please be aware of inclement weather "

"With reference to the severe weather condition tomorrow, I would like to request permission to work from home tomorrow"

"EXECUTIVE MESSAGE OHR/PPIM
02/04/2010
Subject: Inclement Weather Response in the Washington, DC Area for Friday, February 5, 2010
As you may know, current weather forecasts for tomorrow predict a severe snow storm in the Washington, D.C., area beginning late in the morning and continuing into Saturday. Out of concern for employee safety and to help alleviate traffic concerns Director of the Office of Personnel Management (OPM) has provided the following guidance to Federal agencies for their non emergency employees."

Other snow storm terms used by my more snow savvy friends: SSS(Super Snowy Sunday) and snOw M G

The federal government is shutting down today at 1pm and that means an early release for me! It is sad to say that I have the same school kid giddiness I had when school was cancelled. Since we just moved and still do not have Internet and cable set up, we decided to spend the weekend doing home projects and finishing up some unpacking. We ran a few errands last night in preparation, and the grocery store had an eerie end of the world feeling--seriously. Everyone was stocking up on the necessities and the lines were backed up half way through the stores. The news stations were updating which stores were out of things like bread, milk, and sugar. My predictions is it won't be that bad--I am looking forward to a weekend stuck at home with a warm fire!

Gobble til you Wobble...

2009-12-04T19:48:00.000-08:00

...and we did. Highlights include: Brent busting out his High School football jersey--although it was a little tight, meeting Ally for the first time, Shelly's amazing cooking, playing nerds, coloring with Keith, watching "mean doggies" (Up) with Cole, late night movies, sistaz pedis, spending time with the Grents. We missed the UT cousins but had a fun weekend giving thanks for all our many blessings.

Strip Searched!!

2009-11-18T05:57:00.000-08:00

Yep, that’s right as in airport security stripped searched. (Of course this would happen to me.) Here’s the story… I spend plenty of time in Tel-Aviv and close by Jaffa, so I decided to mix it up a bit and go to neighboring Jordan to see Petra last weekend. It is one of the 7 wonders of the world (think Indian Jones) and I have a goal to see them all.

It would require a flight from Tel-Aviv to southern Israel, crossing the Jordanian border, and then a 2 hour bus ride to the historic site. Because of Shabbat (the Jewish Sabbath) which is on Saturday here everything is closed from Friday night to Saturday evening. (Incidentally, LDS services are also on Saturdays and I attended the branch in Tel-Aviv. They meet in a bomb shelter—that’s a story for another day). The only available day to go was on Sunday. I woke up at 4am in order to make it to the airport in time to catch my flight. I arrived with plenty of time despite a taxi driver that took me half way to the wrong airport before I realized it and we had to turn around and head to the correct airport. The airport I was flying out of was a local airport about the size of Yakima’s airport—it had one terminal. I made it through the security x-ray machine and one of the security guards pulled me and an Australian to the side. We were both traveling by ourselves and I think that is why they pulled us aside. They then started to interrogate me for 45 minutes. I had to give them hour by hour details of what I have done since I’ve been in Israel, what exactly I am doing for work, and show them pictures on my camera of the places I have visited since I have been here. Two separate guards asked me all the same questions and I had to repeat myself twice. Then they made me wait without my purse which had all my money, my passport, my hotel key, and all my phone numbers and contact information. Finally a female guard pulled me into a sketchy office and told me she had to search me!! I was so nervous—I started talking incessantly. It was so crazy I couldn’t help but laugh. It wasn’t an actual strip search but I still felt violated! I had to take off everything but my pants and a t shirt (including my bra). When she was examining my waistband she was asked me if I was wearing 2 pairs of pants (referring to my garments), I didn’t want to explain so I said yes. She paused and I was so worried she would make me take my pants off and I would be left standing there in my garments so I quickly explained that they are like underwear but longer. It was awkward. By the time they had finished invading my privacy, I had missed my plane thus missing my entire tour. If it hadn’t been such an awkwardly funny experience I would have been really mad. But what can you do in a foreign country in a situation like that? I ended up spending the day at the beach which was relaxing but I am now even more determined to get to Jordan and Petra. So now I can add to my list that I’ve been racially profiled and strip searched! What an accomplishment.

Double, double toil and trouble

2009-11-16T06:00:00.000-08:00

Thrice the brinded cat hath mew'd.
Thrice and once, the hedge-pig whin'd.
Harpier cries:—'tis time! 'tis time!
Round about the caldron go;
In the poison'd entrails throw.—
Toad, that under cold stone,
Days and nights has thirty-one;
Swelter'd venom sleeping got,
Boil thou first i' the charmed pot!
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.
Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the caldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg, and owlet's wing,—
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.
Scale of dragon; tooth of wolf;
Witches' mummy; maw and gulf
Of the ravin'd salt-sea shark;
Root of hemlock digg'd i the dark;
Liver of blaspheming Jew;
Gall of goat, and slips of yew
Sliver'd in the moon's eclipse;
Nose of Turk, and Tartar's lips;
Finger of birth-strangled babe
Ditch-deliver'd by a drab,—
Make the gruel thick and slab:
Add thereto a tiger's chaudron,
For the ingrediants of our caldron.
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.
Cool it with a baboon's blood,
Then the charm is firm and good. --From Macbeth

Above are some pics from this year's Halloween. the Headless Man and his Sexy Vamp Wife.

Below are some pics from last year's Halloween-essentially, me traumatizing my grandchildren.

Joyeux anniversaire Syd!!

2009-11-14T06:57:00.000-08:00

Shelly's cooking apprentice. Shelly doesn't just share her culinary skills with anyone, but Syd has proved to be a worthy study. From cooking up a Sunday afternoon treat to experimenting with a new recipe, Nick's the happy beneficiary of his wife's yummy skills.

Your typical mademoiselle. She's a master of the french language and its culture. And if it weren't for Nick, she'd probably still be roaming the streets of Paris.
Dance Skillz, she’s gotta `em. This girl can get a dance party started anywhere, with anyone, for any amount of time. (She once choreographed a car dance to Dolly Parton’s hit "9 to 5" that last over 10 hours). She’s got moves that have been outlawed in the continental United States and she knows how to move what God gave her(and then some).

Brains are just part of the package. Not only does this girl get the highest grade in the class, she gets the highest grade the professor had EVER given. She's got more European fun facts then she knows what to do with and when it comes to history she knows it all.

Our resident fashionista. She’s in the know with what is the latest and greatest in the fashion world and insures her family is always in style. She takes risks and shows up her European friends.
Martha Stewart protégé. This girl can make a mean head band out of some buttons, stretchy materials, and hot glue. She makes sure the Jordan residence is the hippest married place on BYU campus and entertains for parties that even Martha would want to attend.
Baller on the court. Whether she's drippling a basketball or shooting a hockey puck, she manages to dominate. She's even trying out intramural softball.

Happy Birthday Syd! Hope Sunday is a good one!!

WYR...in Israel

2009-11-05T23:07:00.000-08:00

One of the greatest games known to man/women is: WYR. Or for you acronym deficient fools: Would you rather… This basically requires, the brave few, to make life altering decisions based on hypothetical situations. The only rule is that you have to answer. Examples of such questions include WYR…have a hard armadillo shell or gills like Kevin Costner in Water world. WYR…talk like Donald Duck or laugh like Goofy. WYR…eat only hot dogs for the rest of your life OR have to cover everything you eat in mayonnaise for the rest of your life. WYR…Marry the next man that walks around the corner OR never get married. Unless Zac Efron hangs out in your neck of the woods, this decision could cause a single girl some serious distress. The other day at work I was presented with an equally problematic WYR. Here is goes: WYR…get dressed up in your favorite disguise, attend crazy dance parties, and hope for a year supply of high caloric sugar treats OR jump on the nearest plane headed to the Holy Land for an all expenses paid 3 week business trip with the hope of weekend jaunts to the Bethlehem and the Dead Sea. Ok let’s be honest my tiara can wait…Israel here I come!!!

Well actually I am already here in Tel-Aviv! I arrived last Sunday in the NYC of the Middle East. I have to be honest and say that I haven’t seen much outside of my hotel and my office but the views of the Mediterranean Sea from my hotel room are incredible. The other day during breakfast I watched the morning surfers trying to catch some waves as I gorged myself on grape leaves, greek salad, warm pita bread, and grapes. It’s a very international city and I can’t really figure out what language everyone is speaking (Hebrew and Arabic are the main ones—I can’t tell the difference between them) but who really needs to communicate right?

Alas, you think I am living the high life, keep in mind that I am working and that I have to spend abnormal amounts of time by myself which I am finding to be extremely painful. I was hoping this would be some kind of personal sabbatical but after I started talking to myself on day 2, I realized that I need human interaction more then I thought. The worst part is having to go to dinner by myself, but then I remember where I am and that you can eat hummus, eggplant, and exotic cheeses every meal and life gets good again. This is the furthest “east” I have ever been and I feel a little out of my element but go hard or go home, right? I was feeling sorry for myself the other night and Melissa encouraged me to stop being a baby so I ventured out last night and to a market up the street from my hotel. It was a mix between Pike’s market and Tijuana and I felt right at home. Nothing like a little retail therapy to make me feel at better! (Thanks, Mel!!)

So in the spirit of this post: WYR…go to Jerusalem this weekend or FILL IN THE BLANK. I am choosing Jerusalem or J’lm as the locals call it—How long to you have to live some place before you are considered a local?

PS. Sorry no pics-my laptop and camera are not communicating as I would like. Hopefully I can get them to link up soon until then you get Google image specials

So Run That Ye Might Obtain

2009-11-01T16:14:00.001-08:00

Lil’ D decided to not play soccer this year. Despite her obvious talents as a soccer player, we supported her decision. Her soccer career was cut short by a “funsucking” coach (Darcee’s descriptive term for people who ruin an otherwise good time). We supported her decision. I actually felt that her coach was harmful to young women, and was relieved that she quit.

In place of soccer, Lil’ D decided to run cross-country. What a great decision it turned out to be! We love her coach, Bob Allen. The other runners are outstanding young people and she was required to work really, really hard. Everything a parent could ask for in a high school sports program. She made significant improvements and despite a late start, showed some real promise for next year. She is not only beautiful, but talented as well. I am always happy when my kids choose to do hard things, and I can’t think of anything much harder than running cross-country. Good choice Lil' D!

Lifestyle of the Rich and Famous

2009-10-26T22:39:00.000-07:00

Well, at least half of that is true. Chels may not be striking it rich working for the U.S. Agency for International Development, but she is definitely famous. Check out her quote in the George Washington University Medical Center paper: (4th paragraph)
http://www.gwumc.edu/medctr/news.cfm?view=news&d=9222

For those of you who may not know, Chels was the driving force behind a HUGE conference this month for global health professionals, GW students, members of the military and the general public. Over 1,000 people attended and she was the Head Honcho (or is it Honcha if you are female?) Regardless, the event was an enormous success.
There is no rest for the tireless jet-setter as she is off to Israel later this week. Did I mention that the government flies her first class on all these trips? How's the high life up there, Chels? Bring us bottom-dwellers a souvenir would you? Just kidding. I know you'll be hard at work saving the world, one family planning tip at a time. We all can't wait to hear about your trip but PLEASE be careful!

Below is a snapshot of her most recent work-related trip to Africa. Cheers to another stamp in your passport. I swear I'm joining you on one of your adventures soon. I'm beginning to forget what the world looks like beyond my front door.

By the way, I think my house qualifies as another planet, so consider visiting us sometime soon! I can't guarantee a stamp in your passport, but you'll get lots of loves from your favorite nephs and niece.

Priceless

2009-10-17T07:42:00.000-07:00

U2 Concert center stage concert tickets: $100
Gas to the concert: $15
Hours had to leave early from work in order to get a place ten feet from Bono: 2
Earplugs I should have bought: $10
Pre concert Diet Cokes: $1.59
Being winked at by Bono and getting the Edge's sweat dripped on me: Priceless

In order to celebrate the end to LSAT studying, we bought tickets to see U2 live in the flesh and ended up about 10 feet from them the whole night it was magical!

Melissa described it best in an email to friends who weren't there. She sums up the night here: "Well, considering I hardly have a voice and I think I have permanent hearing damage - I would say it was one of the best nights of my life! Their stage was a circle and there was a section (the inner circle) blocked off right in front of the stage and we were in it! We were SO CLOSE to BONO!!!!!! And The Edge; one word - HOTT!! It was really AMAZING! The only thing that could have topped it was if we got to go on stage with them. When Bono came a cross a bridge 3 feet from me singing "She Moves in Mysterious Ways" I think I wet my pants a little bit! When the crowd was a moving sea of people jumping up and down during "Elevation" and "Sunday Bloody Sunday" my heart was pounding so hard it almost came out of my chest! And when our group was swaying in a giant group hug during "With or Without You" I seriously almost cried! The night just went on and on, great moment after great moment!"

I may have wet my pants a little and cried too!! Someday I will tell my kids about this and remind them that there was a time when I was cool.
PS. During one of Bono's musical pauses he mentioned his work in Africa--does that mean I can write this off as a work expense??

It's Official.

2009-09-20T16:29:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's true I finally turned 16! I'm officially able to date and drive. Two weeks ago during Sacrament meeting my mom got up in front of the whole congregation and told everyone that I was about to go on my first date. Although it was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life, I'm thankful for all the "Dads" in my Ward who came up to me afterwards and said "If your dad needs any help taking the guy down, I'll be there." or "Who is this boy, I need to meet him." My sisters (mostly Sydney) have been pestering me to put pics up of Homecoming, so here are a few. I did actually have a really great time and I'm glad I got to go.

And now for my driving story.. Most of you may not know but it took me three times to pass the driving test. I obviously inherited my driving skills from dad and Chelsea. We always pay attention while were driving and we truly have a talent. But in my defense, the first two times I took the test i got the same lady. If her looks alone weren't scary enough she had a great personality to go along with that. You can even ask Dad and he will tell you she was a "Trogolodyte." The first time I went to Ellensburg I got a 77 (3 points away from passing). And the second time I got the Trogolodyte again and I didnt even get to finish the test! She said I didn't stop twice at the stop sign and that it was illegal. So the third time I decided I had to take it in Yakima because I couldn't have the Trogolodyte. The lady in Yakima loved me and I passed with a 92. So friends and family I am officially legal to drive.

Endo

2009-09-14T21:23:00.000-07:00

Many years ago, I briefly practiced Judo at the Buddist Church in downtown SLC. The first thing I learned was a shoulder roll. This was particularly helpful for me because in Judo class I spent most of my time airborne. A shoulder roll is an amazingly effective way to avoid injury when you are being thrown to the mat. As wrestling coaches, we teach this to our wrestlers to help them avoid injury. The shoulder roll that I learned almost 40 years ago has come in handy on many occasions. There have been many moments in my life (while being hurled to the ground like a human projectile) where I have thought: "If I can just rotate my body enough to get my shoulder to the ground, I will survive this fall." My faithful crossover readers from Darrell's Yakimania might well ask, "To what moments could you possibly be referring?" or "Are you sure you are not being just a little dramatic here?" Let me assure you, I am not exaggerating in the least. If nothing else, I have always reported my life experiences modestly and accurately. These airborne experiences have occurred while participating in various and sundry physical activities. Oftentimes, they involved a dare, a bet or somehow involved someone calling someone else a "chicken." (There's a lot of things I can tolerate, but being called a chicken is not one of them, and I have fake teeth to prove it.) To be certain, however, most of these harrowing experiences have been while losing control of my mountain bike.

At any rate, after taking up mountain biking a number of years ago, I learned the term "Endo." "Endo" describes going over the top of your handlebars head first. I still proudly exhibit vestiges of my first Endo on a mountain bike that occurred over a decade ago. Some of my Endos have been rather benign, others more impressive and memorable. This past summer I had 3 significant "Endos".

One of my life heros, Rangi Smart introduced me to the Disneyland of downhill mountain biking--Deer Valley Utah. I had never ridden trails with stunts prior to this introduction. Half way down the first run, I was hooked! I returned the following week with a most excellent son-in-law, Nick Jordan to ride Deer Valley. I took a hard Endo while riding with Nick (my third Endo for the season) and for a moment thought I broke my neck. After regaining my wits, I am happy to report that all I broke was my seat post and my helmet. While I am still nursing a sore left thumb (the same thumb that was surgically repaired several years ago), my neck feels pretty good.

Above are some pics of Nick negotiating some really cool trails.

Below is Nick hitting the turf pretty hard!

Nick was an amazingly quick study and kept pace on some fairly challenging trails. We had a great time. Below are some pics of our little adventure.

Mom knows best...

2009-09-13T13:41:00.000-07:00

...and I should have listened. In preparation for Sarah's wedding, Meliss and I attempted to dye our hair a few days before we left for San Francisco. It was one of those late night ideas that seemed like a good one at the time. Mom hates it when we dye our hair and I was reminded of her wise council when I rinsed my hair and the dark chocolaty brown looked blue. That's right as in navy blue—like its so dark it has blue hues. Or plum—depending on the lighting. I look like one of those UT girls that dyes their black in order to be really edgy. Or like someone who is planning a trip to a country south of the border and wants to fit in. Or like I got little carried away with a Sharpie. Or like I am trying out for Wicked. I could continue if you don’t have an accurate picture of what it looks like yet. So the next morning I thought maybe I a wash would lighten it up a little. After five washes—it looked the same. I pulled my hair back in a bun, put on a headband and hoped that wearing navy would offset the ebony color on top of my head. As soon as I arrived at work, in order not to burst into random fits of hysteria, I called my hair salon and as luck would have it they were closed. I called 4 different places and finally got an appointment for that evening at a random place. When the girl showed up to "fix" my hair, she had the same exact blueish black color of hair. In an attempt to not offend her I tried to explain that my new hair hue wouldn't match the bridesmaid dress I would have to wear the following weekend. She gave me two options: bleach or warm toned wash. I figured I go with the least drastic option. I guess Sarah really loves me because she let me be part of her wedding even with navy blue hair.

On a happier note, we had a great "SMIKAH" wedding weekend in Oakland and San Fran. Sarah and Mike looked great and everything turned out perfect.

Mike spent so much time at our house, I feel like we went from 5 roommates down to 3. We can't find anyone as great as Sarah so Meliss and I are turning the "spare" bedroom into our study. Maybe it will help us get into grad school.

We had fun exploring San Fran and we squeezed a lot into our long weekend, including a drive across the Golden Gate, Pier 39, crab chowder, Ghiradelli Square, Lombard St (twice!), Alcatraz, and Berkely. (Visiting Berkely made me grateful for my singles ward in DC!)

We're happy the Johnsons finally made it "offish" and even more happy they are only 2 blocks away. Our west coast adventure was the my 5th trip to the opposite coast this year and while I am sick of the 7 hour flight I love the west coast!

SheWolf's Birthday

2009-09-09T18:25:00.000-07:00

The SHEWOLF

Everybody knows we have the best mom there ever was. Sheila Hague Smart aka Shelly, Shewolf, Mom and most importantly Grandma is more than your average woman. Here is a small list of her most amazing talents/gifts (We simply cannot list them all)

1. Beauty. It is obvious that the Smart children can thank their sweet and sexy mama for all those good genes, thick hair, and high cheekbones. (Don't worry Dad, we thank you for alot of "other" things in our gene pool)

2. Brains. Mom always knows the right answer. If you call and need advice, she's always willing to give it and 10 times out of 10, she's 100% right. You may try to deny it if you're in college trying to make dinner by yourself, but in the end the best call...is a phone call home.

3. Culinary skills. This is an understatement. Mom could whale on those silly Iron Chef contestants and she hasn't even gone to cooking school. Her natural talents and inventive efforts in the kitchen keep us all happy and well-fed. Is there anything this woman can't do in the kitchen? I don't think so.

4. Patience. Mom raised us. Need I say more?

5. Dance moves. This playing field nearly always involves our Puff Daddy as well. Pour Peaches and Herb into the mix and you've got yourself an explosive carbonated beverage...(shaken not stirred of course)

6. Interior Decorating/Fashion sense. We've all watched Stacy and Clinton try to teach losers on What Not to Wear how to clothe themselves. If there is one thing we've learned from Mom it's You've Got It...OR You Don't. Mom taught us all how to dress to impress and I think we can all say that our Mom is the hottest Mom at every PTA function/Graduation/Wedding/Event in our lives. But her keen taste does not stop with the clothes she wears. Shelly takes it one step forward and continues to reign in the realm of home decor. Is there any other woman who could make a marble pear look so expensive? Again I say, "No." There simply is no other woman up for the job.

7. The Essence of Superwoman. I do not say this sentence lightly. Very few women in the world actually possess the essence of Superwoman. But I'm sure we can all say that Mom does. She is constantly running around fulfilling her calling, taking care of people, spoiling her kids and grandkids, and being a devoted wife to our Puff Daddy.

Mom we love you! Happy 29 Birthday!

DURRELLY: 30 but stil Flirty!!!

2009-08-23T08:08:00.000-07:00

Imagine if you were to come home to find your house decorated with peach and brown balloons and streamers--what would be your first thought?

A. Olivia Newton John and Charlies Angels were in town
B. The Cleveland Browns were coming for dinner
C. It was Durrell and Shelly (aka Darrell and Sheila) big 30th wedding anniversary

If you guess "C" treat yourself to some peach wedding mints because you're right!! Or better yet come to the Smart house--we've got extra. We would have enjoyed some time with the Browns or the Angels, but in June when the 'rents celebrated their big day we wanted to help the remember how it all started. We all happened to be home that weekend since it was Shea's missionary farewell; o yea and Father's Day AND Grandpa Hague's Bday AND Darc and Brent's wedding anniversary. Not wanting to under shadow the 'rents big event, we busted out Peaches and Herb tunes, sprinkled the house with confetti, and in true Smart fashion planned a "program". (It is moments like this I wonder if Brent and Nick reconsider the attachment to the Smart family)

The Wolverine partied until the wee hours of the night--by 9pm he was "planning" his big anniversary trip with the She wolf.

We're grateful they are still "flirty" even after 30 years!

Good Genes

2009-07-27T11:16:00.001-07:00

I just want to give a shout out to the Smart family gene pool.

If you have hot parents...you get hot kids.

We are smart and good-looking. I guess life isn't fair.

Thank you D & She for having such awesome DNA.

Curb-side Delivery

2009-07-05T09:27:00.000-07:00

Dropping off Shea--oops Elder Smart--at the MTC was difficult, but we wouldn't have it any other way. He will undoubtedly be a great missionary. We are so proud of him and know that he will do well. His first letter was upbeat. He has a great companion and was made District Leader. I look forward to his letters from North Carolina, after he has had a chance to work with investigators and bear testimony of the restored gospel--his testimony will really blossom then.
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Shea and his beautiful mother in front of the MTC.

Shea and his most amazing (and gorgeous sisters) at the curbside drop-off.

Two very proud parents and most handsome and worthy son!

The Chubby Bunny and The Sheamanator Do Mt. Adams

2009-06-14T22:01:00.000-07:00

Shea and I on the foggy, wet summit of Mt. Adams.

I asked Shea what he wanted to do for his last free weekend before his mission. I suggested motorcycle riding, or a concert--you know something really fun and memorable. Instead, he and George Parsons opted to climb Mt. Adams. I don't know why I keep going back to Mt. Adams. The south side of Adams is a long miserable slog with very little of interest until the last 1,500 feet. This year, there was so much snow that we couldn't get into Cold Springs. We hiked from Morrison Creek, which adds another 5 miles+ onto the climb. Our suffering was complete. I am still not in dress shoes. I have been wearing slip on sandals for the past week, including to church and court. Fortunately, Derek Parsons joined us and kicked steps on the summit face, otherwise we might not have made it. It was mostly a warm climb, but typically of the Cascade Summits, we "enjoyed" snow, sleet and cold winds, all within a 24 hour window. We camped at about 7,000 feet. We had some decent views, but none from the top. The glisade down was awesome, of course--3,000 vertical feet of "butt-sledding."

The Reception

2009-06-10T04:54:00.000-07:00

Sheila has observed that I write too much and don't include enough pics when I post. I have tried to remind her that I have a lot to say and don't get enough chances to talk. Just because I talk all day as a lawyer and speak a lot in Church as a member of the Stake Presidency doesn't necessarily satisfy the desire to speak. This is because typically I don't get to choose what to talk about. For example, in a legal case I have to stick to the "issues in the case" (what fun is that?). Or at church I am usually assigned a topic by President Grow. (It's not like you can just launch into totally random things in a Church talk, although we have some in the Church who don't really get this whole concept of an assigned topic.) So, to make Sheila happy, I thought I would mostly just post pictures of Sydney's most excellent garden reception. Destiny Williams did an amazing job with the pics, don't you think?

Sydney with Nick's amazing family--the Jordans

So many pics were of Sydney looking adoringly at Nick. I love these pics.

Even the food was Yellow and Blue.

The flowers

The "Cupcake" Table

The Curtises

My amazingly beautiful wife and my absolutely gorgeous "big sister" Lynne Greene

The Decorations. A big thanks to Laurie Herzog.

She's just too cute.

Lil'D looking pensive and beautiful

Shea entertaining the guests

I loved seeing kids running through the gardens. Seriously. I can't wait for my grandkids to start running around the yard.

Cole testing out the gourmet food.

A frequent site: Grandma Phyl walking with one of the boys in tow.

Cousin Lori and Lil' Eliza

Grandpa and Grandma Hague and the Grows. Note Amanda's beautiful smile.

Are they models or our kids?

The Wedding Crew.

This picture explains why I love Weddings.

SNICK!

Grandma Phyl and the Hansons.

Chaka Khan and Africa

2009-06-07T07:02:00.000-07:00

Everyone summer outside of our office building, they have free lunch time concerts of the nations greatest cover bands and musical has beens that attempt to relive the glory days. Did I mention they are free concerts? Past performers include John Secada, Chuck Brown, and the one and only Chaka Khan. While reminiscing to the lost tune of 'I'm Every Women', I was reminded of how grateful I am for my job. One of the best perks is being able to travel--in April I was able to go to Guinea and Tanzania in order to do an evaluation of one of projects. Since it was my first trip to the continent I was pretty excited.

Guinea is a beautiful country but very poor. The capital has no infrastructure appears more like a squatter settlement then a main city. The people are wonderful and extremely patient with my French or lack there of. We spent several days in the interior of the country and saw traditional villages that looked like pictures straight from National Geographic.

Tanzania was definitely more developed. We spent Easter Dinner in Dar Es Saalam eating prawns and salmon overlooking the Indian Ocean. I was able to attend church once while I was there and luckily for me it was in English. One of our projects is located on a tea plantation and we were able to spend several days on the plantation. The tea workers did a special performance of us of traditional African song and dance.

It was an amazing experience. Along with Chaka Khan's visit, the trip made me grateful for my job and for the US especially considering this rest stop "toilet" :) Hopefully this summer will bring lots more "famous" peeps to my office!

Good Ol' San Fran

2009-06-03T16:24:00.000-07:00

Good Ol' San Fran - I think that might be a song written by Peggy Akin, but I don't think she will mind me stealing the title.

Finally! I am getting around to posting the adventures of Snick on the blog. It's been way too long. In my defense, our internet is not working. I am currently using the "model apartment's" internet that is two doors down from ours. You gotta do what you gotta do I guess.

Anyway!

Nick and I were able to drive my SoCal to SoWash in between the two receptions after our Honeymoon (I'm hoping to post on Snick's blog about that later) and we decided to make a stop in Good Ol' San Fran because it was on the way. I had never been to San Fran and I've always wanted to go. We only had a day, but I would definitely say we made the most of our quick trip. Nick was a champ....or should I say Clark Griswald and he drove all 30 hours while his sick wife slept or attempted to sleep in the passenger's seat. Unfortunately I got very ill after our Honeymoon and while I will spare most of you the grotesque details, I will say it involved much vomit and flem. I went through an entire box of kleenex in two hours and enjoyed puking my guts out while Nick patiently and lovingly cared for his terminal wife. (Or so it seemed) I'm sure he was wondering what on Earth he had got himself into. While the driving part was quick awful, I was able to enjoy our fun day in San Fran. We tried to do as much as possible with only one small map.

As you can see we visited Pier 39 where we tried to include a picture of Alcatraz, the Jordans, and a large boat. Luckily for all of you, its a whole lot of Jordans. Unfortunately for the snot in my nose, it got it's center stage debut. We enjoyed the shops around Pier 39 and the overwhelming stench from our friends - seals! What a life. I think when Nick and I create our own world...I will be a seal. Lounging in the sun, eating, and pushing my skinnier friends out of the way. If only their weren't sharks....

We ate sourdough bread bowls with soup and spent about an hour in a candy store. Thank goodness the sweets didn't end there. Nick and I continued to walk all over (parking was just too darn expensive) and we eventually ran into Ghirardelli Square where Nick joyfully ate an entire waffle cone of Chocolaty Chocolate Cocoa Chocolate or something like that. As most of you know, I did not inherit the addictions of my mother and therefore, do not crave chocolate on an hourly basis. However, Ghirardelli likes to accommodate and guess what was right around the corner? Kara's Cupcakes! Yes, my dream is to own a cute little parisian inspired cupcake boutique. I was so overwhelmed with all the decadent choices that I decided to play it safe and go with my staple. LEMON. Give me lemon meringue and I will shut my mouth for days. Lets just say it was a very spiritual experience.

Eventually we picked up the truck and decided that walking down Lombard street simply wasn't enough. So against all the other tourists suggestions Mr. and Mrs. Jordan took Ken Parson's old Chevy Silverado down Lomard St. If Dale Earnhart Jr. wasn't driving, we would have been toast, so possibly run over one of the 600 boxwoods. Yes Dad - I knew they boxwoods. Thank Goodness for Saturday mornings, Saturday nights, and a headlamp. There happened to be a tour group of Asians at the bottom who excitedly began taking pictures upon our descent. (Chels that was for you) I've never felt more like a celebrity. They probably knew only Snick would attempt such a feat.

And what would a trip to San Fran be without the Golden Gate Bridge! It is truly an amazing structure. So amazing, that Nick had to take a picture of us from every angle. Luckily for you guys, I only put two on here. No I'm kidding. It really was fun to drive across and enjoy San Fran's most glorious tourist attraction.

I will spare all of you the Full House theme song, but you are not married to me. I begged Nick to take me to find the "Tanner's" house while singing loudly out the window. That was when he threatened to throw me out the window, so I figured I would save my Mary-Kate and Ashley tour for my next trip to San Fran. Overall the trip was so fun and definitely a do-over someday. Thank Goodness for a patient husband who can read a map and navigate - it makes for a great vacation.

Chelsea- Part II

2009-05-29T08:20:00.000-07:00

I forgot to include a picture. (This is for you Mom)

Chelsea - More than a Name

2009-05-29T08:02:00.000-07:00

I must confess I was very intrigued when Chelsea asked me to find Latin roots of her name. It was hard work (definitely worth $8 an hour, possibly $9?) and I learned some extremely valuable things about my most cultured sister while researching her name.
No joke, the first thing that came up was this: A North American slang term for a particular hairstyle popular with female skinheads. Needless to say I was quite shocked, but not worried. For those of you reading - it only get better.
While most of you know that Chelsea is a particular area of London, England, I bet you didn't know that it is often referred to as the "global ultra prime residence area" of London where it is "equally fashionable and expensive." (1, Wikipedia) Not a coincidence for sure. It is also known for it's small but chic LATIN AREA where many famous LATIN restaurants reside. I also compiled a list of important and influential people that have occupied the same area that our beloved sister is named for including:
Sir Francis Bacon
Eric Clapton
Johnny Depp
Judy Garland
Gwenyth Paltrow
JRR Tolkien
Margaret Thatcher
Mark Twain
Il Divo
AND Bob Marley wrote his hit "I Shot the Sheriff" in a one-bedroom flat in the Chelsea area.
In ancient times, the word Chelsea was written as Chelchith (Chelsea with a lisp?). Fortunately for Chels, the Brits eventually got the pronounciation right. Chelsea actually means "a landing place for chalk or limestone" (Bet we would have listened to Dad more on our trip through Southern Utah if we knew that all the limestone was related to Chels)
One in every 140,441 Americans is named Chelsea, but I was not able to find more than one Chelsea Jan Smart! Chels - you are SO original.
The sum of the alphabetical order of letters in Chelsea is 53, which makes her arithmetic buddies with words like Daring and Vocal.
One variation of Chelsea is the Latin name Chela, which is also the Latin slang word for beer. The nickname for Chela is "Che" as in "Che Guevera." One again - not a coincidence.
The Chelsea Drink was a low alcohol carbonated beverage created by Anheuser-Busch in the late 1970's. It was advertised as the "not so soft drink."
It is easy to see that our favorite East Coast sister is not simply another Chelsea. She is special, and so is her name. One again Durrell and Shelly - you guys have out-smarted us all.

*Pictures of Snick's new life are soon to come.

Truly Bored...and Truly French.

2009-05-28T10:13:00.000-07:00

Its been a while since I've posted on the family blog and because I am so bored at work right now, I figured I would share with everyone the details of my monotonous day. Secretly, I love my new job. The people are nice and the phone never rings, so I get to read books (of my choice) all day. I've already organized every closet to be organized and color coded every pen/pencil box to be color coded. I've even arranged the post-it notes in an incredibly beautiful display. When my eyes start to go cross-eyed I usually take a break from reading. Currently, thanks to Mom, I'm reading a really great book called the 'Poisonwood Bible.' But that isn't the point. The point is, I have learned more at my new job than I have in a long time.
My very wise husband suggested that I start researching things on the internet so my brain doesn't get "fried." I asked him yesterday what I should research first and he said Stingrays. So I began my search on wikipedia and read all about Stingrays. Did you know they can grow up to 35 feet wide? Its true. Well, stingrays did kill Steve Irwin, so what did I do? Researched Steve Irwin. His wife is from Eugene, OR, where Nick served his mission - coincidence? I think not. After learning the hobbies, bloodtypes, and pet peeves of the Irwin family (Steve, Terri, Bindi and Bob) I went on to some slightly more intellectual topics including the origins of stainless steel cooking pots and Angelina Jolie.
Eventually, France got the best of me like it always does. I began looking up my favorite pieces of art in Paris and surrounding areas. Then I researched some of my favorite French artists (Rodin mostly). I was feeling quite French. I decided to check the origins of my name to see if possibly...I was meant to be "la premiere francaise" or the first french woman. For those of you who are bored and simply reading this to be polite, this is where it finally gets interesting. My name Sydney is technically an English name, BUT derived from a VERY VERY VERY french source. Saint Denis, the patron saint of my beloved country France is the root of my seemingly English "surname." When pronounced with the proper French accent, Saint Denis sounds more like S'Denny which equals Sydney in English! Needless to say, I not only felt extremely proud, (for Saint Denis is carved front and center on the Notre Dame) but also truly French. It has always been something that I have battled with throughout my life. Knowing that I had deep French roots, but not sure why. Fortunately for my future prosperity, they will experience the best of all three countries - America, France, and of course Ireland. Durrell and Shelly - You two were truly inspired when you named me. How can I ever thank you?

SNICK...it's official!

2009-05-04T19:14:00.000-07:00

Hotter then Brangelina, posher then TomKat, SNICK became official in the Newport Beach Temple on May 1.

The whole fam got together last weekend in southern Cali to celebrate the happy couple. Despite our craziness, Nick still wanted to join our clan. I think Shea is pretty excited to have more testosterone around.

Syd of course looked amazing and Mom and Dad survived planning another wedding. Don't worry D & S only 3 more to go!

The twinners welcomed their new uncle by chowing down on the chocolate fountain and lots of in and out burger. They also enjoyed smothering Nick's family's "Hop Hop" but luckily it was pretty resilient. Nick's family was wonderful and so patient with all of us!

We are excited to have a new member of the Smart fam. I am hoping Syd hasn't mentioned Christmas caroling with reindeer antlers, trimming bushes with headlamps, or pool basketball--but I guess by this time its too late. SNICK-enjoy the honeymoon-Congrats!

Let Keith Eat Cake

2009-04-28T08:19:00.000-07:00

Nick and I flew home last weekend for some pre-wedding festivities as most of you know. I'm still looking for pictures of my bridal shower so hopefully someone can get their hands on those. The whole weekend was one big success. It was so fun to have Melinda there and to see everyone. Unfortunately, I didn't get to see the twinners as much as I thought I would. Probably a total of twenty minutes. Which, I might add, is not sufficient for the favorite auntie and uncle. I had the pleasure of trying to stuff pears and crackers down Keith's throat. I couldn't figure out why he wasn't interested in all the wonderful healthy options in front of him. I turned around to see Nick, Shea, Puffy, Lela, and Melinda enjoying hearty pieces of Costco's Death By Chocolate cake. And could I deny sweet little Keith? No. He is worthy of chocolaty cake just like everyone else. So I let him have cake. Lucky for him, everyone in the room starting following suit and feeding him cake of their own. True to the smart name, he downed half of the cake by himself. Kudos to Darc and Brent for starting them young. What champions they will become. As a side note, Darcee is looking very cute and pregnant these days. Hopefully she can keep up with Nick, who is also looking slightly prego these days. He is pushing 190 and I am so proud! He is looking forward to an all-inclusive cruise with tons and tons of great food. We can't wait to see you all on Thursday! Its going to be a Party! Party! Don't let your mama know!.... I've been singing that all month!