Jimmer You're Crowding My Birthdayness!

Some of you BYU fans were sad to see Jimmer play his last college game. I, on the other hand, was elated to see him go. Good riddance! Bon voyage, amigo! A big sayonara! Now before you BYU fans engage in acts of cyber terrorism and lace our family blog with destructive viruses, let me explain. I turned 54 years old on February 24th. As Patriarch of the Super Smarts, my birthdays are becoming increasingly more important to me. Dang it, I suffer a lot to reach each new plateau that is created by a new birthday, and I want my special day recognized appropriately. So, I feel it is quite understandable for me to be upset when my birthday gets crowded by extraneous events .

First, there was the little drama created by Sydney marrying Nick Jordan, whose birthday inconviently happens to be February 26th--a fact he failed to disclose when asking me if he could marry Sydney. Say what?! While this little omission cannot be deemed direct prevarication, it comes perilously close to fraud in the inducement, an act that gives rise to a cause of action and civil damages in a court of law. Regardless, Nick and I have worked out a little compromise. We have set aside February 25th as a day of truce; a birthday no man's land; a place of nothingness birthday related. I get everything before Febuary 25th; he gets everything thereafter. In general I have been happy with this arrangement; that is, until the Jimmer entered our arena of play. As everyone obviously knows, February 25th is the Jimmer's birthday. This year both of our birthdays were crowded by the Jimmer and the hysteria in Cougar Nation that is Jimmermania. With all of the excitement over BYU's early success in the NCAA tournament, and the Jimmer's likely selection as player of the year, there was hardly time to even notice that I turned 54 (and Nick turned 20 something).

While I complained bitterly about this, a thoughtful family member suggested that I join the celebration and send a facebook friend request to the Jimmer, since we almost share birthdays. I sent a friend request and was deeply disappointed that he never responded. Even worse, I found out that he accepted Nick's request to be a facebook friend. Nick never even checks his account! How unfair is that?

So, while some of you mourned the early exit of the Jimmer and your beloved Cougs from the NCAA tournament, I celebrated that loss. The sooner Jimmer exits the national stage and fades into the sunset, the better. Next year, Nick and I can once again observe February 25th as a birthday no-man's land and a definite boundary between our special days without feeling crowded by the hype and nonsense that is Jimmermania.

The Quote Wall and the Orange Scrunchy

When I was in Portland last time, I was looking for something in Darcee's bathroom and I stumbled upon two odd things. The first offender consisted of a few pages of computer paper with some typed notes. As I got closer, I realized the paper was actually a "quote wall' of motivating verses and uplifting thoughts. I am pretty sure John Bytheway doesn't live in the Burnett house but I couldn't image who else would have put up such a thing. If anyone knows Darc you know it couldn't be her. Considering all other permanent residents can only spell their names and the names of their favorite Toy Story characters, that left only one person. But is Brent really the type to have such a pansy document up? He is the parent that cheered Keith on when he got his first bloody nose because he was officially on his way to becoming a man.

The next offensive object, I was all too familiar with. Below the subject:


This nasty piece of fabric and elastic has been in the possession of my sister for twenty years. It is disgusting. It is a hair scrunchy circa 1990 and was made by one of the basketball moms from her junior high team. It's orange. It has stars. It's a hair scrunchy. I will admit there was a time when these were both appropriate and cool. This would not be one of those times. Actually, it was never that time. By the time this came into Darc's possession it was not cool to have scrunchies let alone matching hair scrunchies with your whole basketball team. So the birth of the scrunchy lead to a long lasting belief that basketball games could not be won with out the magical scrunchy. The scrunchy then held its permanent place a top Darcee's head throughout the years of her basketball career. As the uniforms change the scrunchy did not. Fast forward to high school when the scrunchy was definitely a fashion no no and most of her teammates had gladly retired the hair accessory. But not Darcee--she insisted on the magic. Even when she made the picture on the front page of the sports section, the orange scrunchy was there in all it's glory. There was no getting rid of it. But Darcee's basketball career ended a long time ago--why was the scrunchy still prominently displayed in the bathroom?


The first thing I thought when I saw both of these things (besides wondering if the scrunchy was sanitary after all these years) is Darc and Brent can do this. When faced with trials they find ways to beat the odds and do the impossible. They always have been like that. They both thrive on doing hard things and reaching difficult goals. They are both competitive athletes and thrive on physical endurance. They may have to employ motivation from pansy quotes or magically hair accessories but they are hard core. I can't think of better parents. They are devoted to their kids and make parenting seem fun. (Maybe it is fun until kids become teenagers??) I appreciate their patience, endurance, and strength--and I know they can do anything.

Because the circumstances are what they are, I will allow the scrunchy and the quote wall as long as both remain in the bathroom. Any deviation from this and they may need to find a new way to motivate themselves.

We Don't Share No Stinkin' Birthdays

Today we celebrate the birth of the one and only Puff Daddy.
He's tough, he's rough, and most certainly a little puff, but that's what we love about him most.
Here a picture of the Big D with someone who may or may not have a birthday in two days. But we can't talk about that possible someone who might have a birthday soon after Puff Daddy's because only one person can have birthdayness at a time.



In other words - We don't share no stinkin' birthdays!
A birthday in the Smart family is cherished, exaggerated, and spread out as much as possible because we are THAT awesome. If you know Big D, you know that as head of the Smart family he takes his job seriously. He has led us, as only the true human compass could, beyond limits and up mountains since appointing himself supreme chancellor of all things Smartypants.
Leading our family both physically and metaphorically happens to be the Puff Daddy's forte.



For example, if you know this blog exists, then you have most likely either A) Climbed a mountain with Big D, B) Suffered serious injury while in Big D's presence, C) Weeded in the dark with a headlamp on, or D) Experienced A, B, and C most extensively in your lifetime.
If you answered D, then you mostly likely A) Share some kind of genetic composition with Big D and are probably his biological offspring, B) Married to one of Big D's offspring, C) Married to Big D himself or D) Just plain suicidal
If you answered D, congratulations! You are probably one of Big D's best friends! Consider yourself extremely fortunate, because not many people can keep up with the Puff Daddy and live to tell their tale.



In fact, most people cannot keep up with the Puff Daddy period. He has more hobbies, interests, and talents than everyone you know combined. You've say you've got a quirky friend? Well Puff Daddy will do your friend one better every time. Big D has often been quoted saying, "Anything worth doing is worth overdoing," and he speaks nothing but the truth. His hobbies include mountaineering, cycling (road/mountain), climbing (rock/ice), skiing (water/snow), snowboarding, snow cave building, landscaping, floral arranging, basketball (aka fouling), learning foreign languages, kayaking/canoeing, fishing, skateboarding, hiking, bragging, hunting, and fighting for the poor injured worker as Yakima's contemporary Robin Hood.



Listing his talents would simply take a lifetime, so here are a few of his most notable accomplishments:
1. Playing the harmonica with both his mouth AND his nose.
2. Unleashing the "bag of trick" at various family vacations.
3. Fitting 48 hours of work into a 24 hour work day.
4. Being more romantic, good looking, and mysterious than Edward Cullen.
5. Never loosing a game of pool basketball.
6. Being the world's best Grandpa
7. Entering and winning wrestling tournaments for more than 35 years.







Big D's life has been nothing short of zesty and way more than all that jazz. While it is clear that his many talents and hobbies inspire and motivate us to all be better people, it is his pure love for life that make us all happy to say we know and love him.
To the world's hardest worker, sexiest husband, most devoted dad, and coolest grandpa - we love you!
Of course we wouldn't make you share your birthday with anyone else!

Darcee

When Darcee was 13 I took her, Chelsea and Sydney on a fairly long backpacking trip for young kids . Sydney was 5 and couldn't carry much. She had a small backpack, but could only carry her blankie and her sleeping bag. In order to get everything on our backs I placed a very heavy load on Darcee. She was always physically a very strong little girl. She didn't complain or question my wisdom in putting most of Sydney's stuff and most of the food in her pack (I had the tent, stove and fuel). On the second day Sydney began to fade. She started to cry and said that she couldn't carry her sleeping bag. I looked at Darcee and told her that she would just have to man up and carry her little sister's sleeping bag. She didn't complain. Again she didn't question my decision to put more weight on her back. The third day, she whimpered a little bit when we got ready to put our backpacks on.

"What wrong?", I asked.

"Dad, I think my hips are bruised from the weight."

"What you can't bruise your hips?! That's crazy! You just need to be tough for one more day. I know you can do it!"

She then hiked down her pants far enough for me to see the bruises on her hips! Who knew that you could bruise your hips from carrying heavy weight? I felt terrible. However, we were in a pickle. I couldn't fit anything more in my pack, or on my back. Again, Darcee was just going to have to man up and be in pain a little while longer.

I have always expected a lot from my kids, especially Darcee. Experts say that if you raise a perfect first child, the rest of the herd will follow. (Okay, I don't know if any real expert actually said such a thing, but I believe it to be true.) Regardless, Sheila and I raised in every way imaginable a perfect first child. And, in deed, the rest of the herd has followed.

I have always expected my kids to do hard things, whether it was climbing mountains, enduring epic bike rides, or simply working in the garden, I have wanted them to do hard things without complaint. Actually, I have expected a few complaints here and there. However, in looking back on the things we have done, I don't know of anyone tougher than Darcee.

She and Brent are facing a very tough battle right now. We keep telling her, "You can do this!" Although it breaks our hearts to see her carrying such a heavy load, if anyone can do this, it's our perfect first child. I have never doubted her strength, her faith or her courage. We stand in awe at what an amazing mother she has become. While we might falter and doubt, we have complete faith in a most remarkable daughter.

Edible Sugar Cookies

Every Christmas, we have a Smart Family Tradition of frosting sugar cookies. Shelly makes the most amazing sugar cookies and Favorite Aunts 1 and 2 were excited to show their favorite nephews the tradition.

Keith and Cole had other ideas.

They didn't really get the whole decorating thing but they did enjoy the eating part.


As you can see.

When it was all over we weren't sure if we had any edible ones, but Cole tested them for us and they seemed to be alright.

Christmas Cheer: Griswald Style

Clark Griswald's greatest joy (after his Christmas lights of course):

Christmas Card circa 1994.

Merry Christmas!
With Love,
The Griswalds

Yakima, The Palm Springs of Washington and...

...the least brainy city.

I will not jump off a bridge after viewing the results because:

1. My roommates' hometown also ranked in the top ten

2. I live in one of these cities

4. Yaktown is ranked #6--it could be worse

3. My last name has to account for more then geography