Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Jimmer You're Crowding My Birthdayness!

Some of you BYU fans were sad to see Jimmer play his last college game. I, on the other hand, was elated to see him go. Good riddance! Bon voyage, amigo! A big sayonara! Now before you BYU fans engage in acts of cyber terrorism and lace our family blog with destructive viruses, let me explain. I turned 54 years old on February 24th. As Patriarch of the Super Smarts, my birthdays are becoming increasingly more important to me. Dang it, I suffer a lot to reach each new plateau that is created by a new birthday, and I want my special day recognized appropriately. So, I feel it is quite understandable for me to be upset when my birthday gets crowded by extraneous events .

First, there was the little drama created by Sydney marrying Nick Jordan, whose birthday inconviently happens to be February 26th--a fact he failed to disclose when asking me if he could marry Sydney. Say what?! While this little omission cannot be deemed direct prevarication, it comes perilously close to fraud in the inducement, an act that gives rise to a cause of action and civil damages in a court of law. Regardless, Nick and I have worked out a little compromise. We have set aside February 25th as a day of truce; a birthday no man's land; a place of nothingness birthday related. I get everything before Febuary 25th; he gets everything thereafter. In general I have been happy with this arrangement; that is, until the Jimmer entered our arena of play. As everyone obviously knows, February 25th is the Jimmer's birthday. This year both of our birthdays were crowded by the Jimmer and the hysteria in Cougar Nation that is Jimmermania. With all of the excitement over BYU's early success in the NCAA tournament, and the Jimmer's likely selection as player of the year, there was hardly time to even notice that I turned 54 (and Nick turned 20 something).

While I complained bitterly about this, a thoughtful family member suggested that I join the celebration and send a facebook friend request to the Jimmer, since we almost share birthdays. I sent a friend request and was deeply disappointed that he never responded. Even worse, I found out that he accepted Nick's request to be a facebook friend. Nick never even checks his account! How unfair is that?

So, while some of you mourned the early exit of the Jimmer and your beloved Cougs from the NCAA tournament, I celebrated that loss. The sooner Jimmer exits the national stage and fades into the sunset, the better. Next year, Nick and I can once again observe February 25th as a birthday no-man's land and a definite boundary between our special days without feeling crowded by the hype and nonsense that is Jimmermania.

Monday, March 7, 2011

The Quote Wall and the Orange Scrunchy

When I was in Portland last time, I was looking for something in Darcee's bathroom and I stumbled upon two odd things. The first offender consisted of a few pages of computer paper with some typed notes. As I got closer, I realized the paper was actually a "quote wall' of motivating verses and uplifting thoughts. I am pretty sure John Bytheway doesn't live in the Burnett house but I couldn't image who else would have put up such a thing. If anyone knows Darc you know it couldn't be her. Considering all other permanent residents can only spell their names and the names of their favorite Toy Story characters, that left only one person. But is Brent really the type to have such a pansy document up? He is the parent that cheered Keith on when he got his first bloody nose because he was officially on his way to becoming a man.

The next offensive object, I was all too familiar with. Below the subject:

This nasty piece of fabric and elastic has been in the possession of my sister for twenty years. It is disgusting. It is a hair scrunchy circa 1990 and was made by one of the basketball moms from her junior high team. It's orange. It has stars. It's a hair scrunchy. I will admit there was a time when these were both appropriate and cool. This would not be one of those times. Actually, it was never that time. By the time this came into Darc's possession it was not cool to have scrunchies let alone matching hair scrunchies with your whole basketball team. So the birth of the scrunchy lead to a long lasting belief that basketball games could not be won with out the magical scrunchy. The scrunchy then held its permanent place a top Darcee's head throughout the years of her basketball career. As the uniforms change the scrunchy did not. Fast forward to high school when the scrunchy was definitely a fashion no no and most of her teammates had gladly retired the hair accessory. But not Darcee--she insisted on the magic. Even when she made the picture on the front page of the sports section, the orange scrunchy was there in all it's glory. There was no getting rid of it. But Darcee's basketball career ended a long time ago--why was the scrunchy still prominently displayed in the bathroom?

The first thing I thought when I saw both of these things (besides wondering if the scrunchy was sanitary after all these years) is Darc and Brent can do this. When faced with trials they find ways to beat the odds and do the impossible. They always have been like that. They both thrive on doing hard things and reaching difficult goals. They are both competitive athletes and thrive on physical endurance. They may have to employ motivation from pansy quotes or magically hair accessories but they are hard core. I can't think of better parents. They are devoted to their kids and make parenting seem fun. (Maybe it is fun until kids become teenagers??) I appreciate their patience, endurance, and strength--and I know they can do anything.

Because the circumstances are what they are, I will allow the scrunchy and the quote wall as long as both remain in the bathroom. Any deviation from this and they may need to find a new way to motivate themselves.