Grandma Phyl

Grandma Phyl came to visit us immediately following Christmas and stayed with us through the New Year. What a wonderful visit! She is so much fun to be around. We played games and ate everything Sheila placed in front of us. We at some nice dinners out and did our best to not offend any chef who was serving us.

We enjoyed New Year's Eve in Seattle. Brunch at Salty's and then the Broadway show Cinderella at the 5th Avenue Theatre. We dragged her all over the place and she hardly seem to mind. At Salty's she profounded stated, "I need to squeeze some lemon juice in my Diet Coke to give it some nutritional value. Did anyone see a lemon at the buffet bar?" We were doing extreme damage to our health at that very moment. In retrospect, even she admitted that worrying about our nutrition while working on our 4th platters seemed a little odd. Following the show and a little shopping, we drove to Portland to visit Darcee and Brent. Darcee was at the hospital with Keith so we celebrated New Years with them by uncorking a couple of bottles of Martinellis and breaking some amazing sushi (for Darcee, of course).

Grandma Phyl never ceases to amaze us. She is wicked smart and will likely forget more than I will ever know. She was so sweet with Keith. She spent every moment that she could with him. In her words, "He's just an angel boy!" She is an inspiration for all of us. She never stops moving. I'm not making this up, as any who knows her can attest. I'm not sure how she out paces us at her age. She is truly a remarkable women at any age, and when you consider she is 80+ it's mindboggling.

She is so accommodating. She rode back to Salt Lake crammed in Shea's truck with several co-eds, without even a whisper of a complaint. What a trooper!




Lil D and Grandma Phyl.

Loving Keithy every chance she had.

Cinderella at the 5th Avenue Theatre.

She's a winner for sure! We couldn't be more blessed.

The hap, hap, happiest Christmas

Despite Keith's extreme challenges over the Holidays, we still managed to have just about the "hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap danced with Danny [bleeping] Kay." We enjoyed skiing and snowboarding (until I tore my MCL wrestling), shopping, Ju-jitsu kick boxing (until I tore my MCL), doing puzzles, games, eating everything in sight (unaffected by my MCL injury), hanging out with the coolest grandkids known to man, P90X workouts (until I injured my MCL), a Broadway play in Seattle, the Holiday Brunch at Salty's (West Seattle), a trip to Portland and very special visit from Grandma Phyl.

Chels and Ally.

A belated Christmas in Tigard.

New Year's Eve in the hospital with Keith.

Chels and Ally. Notice the cross toes.

Lil D and Ally.

Sibling love or torture?

Lil D and Keithy.

A very satisfying New Year's Eve at Salty's.

Grandma Phyl spent a lot of time hanging out with Keith. It was touching.

Probably the best present I've received in a long, long time--a customized Wolverine themed climbing helmet, painted with our most famous family motto: "Scratch and Claw."

Keith finally getting to open a present. Woohoo!

Sheila, me and Grandma Phyl at Cinderella.

Shea, Lil D and Chels at Cinderella.

Cole--a Super Hero for sure!

A Princess, and she knows it!

Lil D and Me at the Box Office of the 5th Avenue Theatre for Cinderella.

Grandma Phyl and Lil D at Salty's (probably the best buffet known to mankind).

Grandpa Smart got to spend tons of time with Evie (and she loved it, of course).

I am not sure where all the pics of Sydney and Nick are. When Nick is around, I don't shoot very many pictures because I am totally intimidated by Nick's Nikon camera. At any rate, we felt so blessed this Christmas. Seeing Keith suffer so much was difficult to be sure, but we nevertheless found so much good to celebrate and enjoy just being together.

Failure to Thrive Syndrome

I am smiling again. I got my wife back after a long, long absence. When we anticipated being empty-nesters, I did not guess that it would be me alone in the nest. After our wonderful trip to the UK and Switzerland, Sheila stayed in London and partied with Chelsea; then visited Darcee in Portland to help with Keith's treatment; and finally went to Eugene to hang out with Little Evelyn. To say I missed her would constitute a ginormous understatement. Seriously, there were moments were I was pretty sure I wouldn't (and couldn't) make it another day.

For centuries, nursery workers have been aware of an obscure diagnosis to explain mysterious infant and children motality--Failure to Thrive Syndrome. I was pretty sure that I was suffering from this potential fatal ailment. While visiting my attending physician, Dr. Brett DeGooyer, for some minor lumbago symptoms, he in fact, verified the diagnosis. I have always thought him a wise physician, but his ability to hone in on this diagnosis like a laser shot, was well, beyond impressive. Fortunately, the cure for this most serious of conditions is pretty simple--gobs and gobs of TLC. The She-wolf is back in the nest, so friends and family members need not worry that I continue to suffer, nor that my life is still precipitously dangling in doubt.

In describing my near death experience to a doubting friend, I felt the need to show him the prescription written by my doctor. I have attached this very real and valid document lest there are others that doubt my experience, or are simply curious about this diagnosis. Regardless, rest assured that I am once again thriving and happy!

How Do You Measure A Man?

I'm helping my dad make his Halloween costume this year. In an effort to complete his costume in an efficient and accurate manner I sent him an email asking him for his measurements.

Here is his EXACT response:

Syd: The obvious answers are as follows: 1. All the way around the largest part of your chest: Massive and strong like a bull 2. All the way around the largest part of your arms: Massive and hard like hammers 3. Shoulder to shoulder: Massive and muscular like the demigods. 4. Waist: Tiny and svelte I’m sure 5. Belly button to knee: Long and strong like an Olympian. Actually, I don’t know any of these measurements. So I’ll have to go home and measure and then let you know tomorrow. thanks so much for doing this. -Dad After receiving this email, I promptly emailed my mom for some help. She measured my Dad and sent back an email, but not before my Dad was able to type several "additions" to the correct measurements.

Here is an EXACT copy of the second email:

syd: thanks so much for your help. Our clan must stick together. and now for my pathetic stats: Chest: 44 --huh? You mother apparently doesn't know how to take a simple measurement. Arms: 15.5--say what? why do they look like massive anacondas when I pose in the mirror after showering then?! Waist: 35--Hmmmm? Must be measuring in centimeters. There is no possibility that my "Big Ab" is girthier than 32". Belly to knee: 21. No comment. I have always been a Hobbit. Shoulder to shoulder: 19--who knew that measuring tapes could be defective, and that your mother would be so careless as to buy a defective item. Thanks mucho! After reading both of these emails, I realized one thing: My father is an immeasurable man in more ways than one.

We really were in the Swiss Alps--Honest!

Okay. I know this picture looks totally fake, but we really were in the Swiss Alps. Rocky took this and for some reason we all look "photo-shopped" into the picture. This was the scene of a James Bond movie "On Her Majesty Secret Service" circa 1968. Sheila is positive that I could do some of the cool stunts from the movie. Her willingness to believe some of what I tell her is just one of many reasons why I love her so much.

Our Swiss adventure was most excellent--thanks to our hosts: Rocky, Sarah and E!

Our wonderful Swiss hosts--Rocky and Sarah, who despite having only arrived in country a couple of weeks ago, were willing to host us for a few days.

Amazing and beautiful No. 2 Daughter--Chelsea

E milking a Swiss cow.

E milking another Swiss cow.

Our traveling troupe looking back at some of the treacherous roads that could only be handled by James Bond and Rocky Smart.

50 in France, 51 in Switzerland, 52 in ...

Sheila spent her 50th birthday in Paris. Today she is spending her 51st birthday in Switzerland. She kept telling us she didn't want to have a big party where people pity her because she's getting old. She wanted to go someplace quiet and private. Well, I'm not sure either Zurich or Paris qualifies as quiet or private, but at least it's someplace fun. It's hard to pack presents for her birthday so she's really gone without any big celebrations the last two years, but somehow I think the trips alone were sufficient presents. Besides its hard for us to shop for Sheila because she has fairly particular tastes and likes to do her own shopping. So a trip really is the perfect gift. This is her 11th foreign country. I'm embarrassed even saying that because Switzerland is Chelsea's 30th foreign adventure. (Very few people can compete with Chelsea.)

Empty nesters...hmmm... Seems weird just saying those words. Sheila's life has singularly been focused on our children and our home. Bearing 6 children and raising 5 of them to adulthood, caring for every lost soul within her reach and taking care of me ( ie, keeping me from derailing), has been an enormous undertaking. Its time for Sheila to enjoy time doing what she wants; and going places that interest her. For many years our family vacations have been centered on traveling to Utah and trying to stay connected to family. We are all excited for Sheila to focus on Sheila and enjoy her life. So, a big Smart family shout out and Happy Birthday to the one person who has made our family what it is. Happy Birthday, Sheila!

Be True to Your School

I was outraged to view the two comments to Chelsea's unsubtle, recent post about our various schools. In no way was the picture of her supposed "mascot" convincing of superiority. Yes, she did put it last, but is that really showing equality or was it a tactic to help those deciding on a mascot? "I don't know who to pick so I will just pick the last one I can remember." I think you see my point. But with all that aside, the truly sad part was I was sold out by my own wife. True, she has been known to wake up at 2am and watch the royal wedding by choice and then proceed from the original viewing with an 18-hour marathon of royal wedding reruns, but still, follow the Beach Boys' advice and Be True to Your School. Syd did concede that no matter how much she loved our Duck, her heart was given away along time ago to the Royal Family. I must give her props for sticking to her guns. I think all the Smart's would probably agree, which is why there will inevitably be heated debates over the next few years, or realistically decades, as to which mascot is the best. So in order to make my argument of why the Duck's are at the top of the food chain allow me to make just two arguments.

1) Ducks fly together.



2) My mascot can beat up your mascot.