Monday, February 24, 2014

When in Doubt, Whip it Out

Some of you might be uncomfortable, slightly disturbed or intrigued by the title of this blog post. Look no further, for I have a perfectly normal explanation.

Its something my Dad says constantly.

Not sure if you know someone, but you think you do and you're too far away to be sure?
When in doubt, whip it out! (your hand for the wave)

Not sure if you are supposed to be dancing on the dance floor?
When in doubt, whip it out! (your dance moves of course)

Not sure if you should buy that new Arcteryx jacket, those skis, the 6-man tent, some running shoes and a new fishing pole when you're at REI?
When in doubt, whip it out! (your credit card)

Not sure if you should antagonize the lady at the hot chocolate stand with a weird and slightly inappropriate joke?
When in doubt, whip it out! (your obviously funny jokes)

I could go on, but you get the idea.

My Dad is clearly a man of few, put poignant words.
A man willing to do and say what most shy away from.
He has and will go where no one is comfortable with the level of awkwardness, personal safety, inappropriate dance moves and adrenaline. 

He is ... the Wolverine on steroids.

A "normal" Wolverine would attack a bear with confidence, climb a mountain with nothing but a Viagra to help with the altitude sickness, and enjoy flexing its claws and muscles in front of nothing but the sun and its natural surroundings. 

My Dad/Wolverine would attack that bear with confidence and while he finished him off, he would recite Og Mandino, several weird unhumorous "jokes of the day," from his iPad and some of his most macho family mottos (Scratch and Claw! Big Dogs to the Top, etc)

My Dad/Wolverine not only takes the Viagra with gusto, but feels no shame when spooning with my husband in a two-man tent halfway up Rainier.

My Dad/Wolverine surely enjoys flexing his muscles and claws in front of nobody. But what he enjoys most is flexing those muscles and claws in front of EVERYBODY, but especially the SheWolf. No amount of flattery gets old for the Wolverine. You see, if its true ... its not bragging.

He can take down 30 year olds in Jiu Jitsu tournaments and then come home and proudly show off his gorgeous flower arrangements at church.
He can climb, bike, ski, ride, fish and hike every surface of the planet and then come home and still have time to chase his grandkids and play "chubby dwarves."
He can starve himself to make weight for wrestling tournaments and then come home and suggest another Diners, Drive-ins and Dives restaurant.
He is generous, fair, smart, silly, interesting, weird, funny, awkward, tough, tender, strong, and his personal favorite, romantic.

He is clearly not your average Wolverine.
And today is the pinnacle of his Birthday Month, his actual birthday. 

Happy Birthday to the greatest Dad/Grandpa/Wolverine we know!
My kids can say it better than I can:

1 comment:

Sheila Smart said...

So cute and adorable! Wow, I miss those girls!!