Failure to Thrive Syndrome

I am smiling again. I got my wife back after a long, long absence. When we anticipated being empty-nesters, I did not guess that it would be me alone in the nest. After our wonderful trip to the UK and Switzerland, Sheila stayed in London and partied with Chelsea; then visited Darcee in Portland to help with Keith's treatment; and finally went to Eugene to hang out with Little Evelyn. To say I missed her would constitute a ginormous understatement. Seriously, there were moments were I was pretty sure I wouldn't (and couldn't) make it another day.

For centuries, nursery workers have been aware of an obscure diagnosis to explain mysterious infant and children motality--Failure to Thrive Syndrome. I was pretty sure that I was suffering from this potential fatal ailment. While visiting my attending physician, Dr. Brett DeGooyer, for some minor lumbago symptoms, he in fact, verified the diagnosis. I have always thought him a wise physician, but his ability to hone in on this diagnosis like a laser shot, was well, beyond impressive. Fortunately, the cure for this most serious of conditions is pretty simple--gobs and gobs of TLC. The She-wolf is back in the nest, so friends and family members need not worry that I continue to suffer, nor that my life is still precipitously dangling in doubt.

In describing my near death experience to a doubting friend, I felt the need to show him the prescription written by my doctor. I have attached this very real and valid document lest there are others that doubt my experience, or are simply curious about this diagnosis. Regardless, rest assured that I am once again thriving and happy!