Syd:
The obvious answers are as follows: 1. All the way around the largest part of your chest: Massive and strong like a bull 2. All the way around the largest part of your arms: Massive and hard like hammers 3. Shoulder to shoulder: Massive and muscular like the demigods. 4. Waist: Tiny and svelte I’m sure 5. Belly button to knee: Long and strong like an Olympian.
Actually, I don’t know any of these measurements. So I’ll have to go home and measure and then let you know tomorrow. thanks so much for doing this. -Dad After receiving this email, I promptly emailed my mom for some help. She measured my Dad and sent back an email, but not before my Dad was able to type several "additions" to the correct measurements. |
Here is an EXACT copy of the second email: |
syd: thanks so much for your help. Our clan must stick together. and now for my pathetic stats: Chest: 44 --huh? You mother apparently doesn't know how to take a simple measurement. Arms: 15.5--say what? why do they look like massive anacondas when I pose in the mirror after showering then?! Waist: 35--Hmmmm? Must be measuring in centimeters. There is no possibility that my "Big Ab" is girthier than 32". Belly to knee: 21. No comment. I have always been a Hobbit. Shoulder to shoulder: 19--who knew that measuring tapes could be defective, and that your mother would be so careless as to buy a defective item. Thanks mucho! After reading both of these emails, I realized one thing: My father is an immeasurable man in more ways than one. |
4 comments:
Hahaha how am I not surprised. I guess that is where we get our "confidence". Good luck with the preparations! I can't wait to see the final result.
I cannot stop laughing. You know why it's so funny, Dad? Because it's so true. You really believe the things you are saying. It's not funny unless there's some truth behind it.
Anyway, I'm still cracking up at you. Thanks for making my day. Next time I see you, I'll have to check out those anacondas.
I'm only commenting in an effort to defend my good name. I am sure your "exact" representations of my emails must have been corrupted while traveling thru the deep mystery that is the internet. Actually, I was a little surprised and a lot disappointed at my "stats." As you all know, my most important motto to date has been, "Don't let the facts interfer with what you know to be true!"
For those of you who were comparing Darrell's biceps to the meager city of Anaconda, Montana (population 9,088), let me assure you that the groans coming from the workout room at 4:30am from proving you can still lift what you could years prior, when your two-month-old child has not let her mother sleep all night, definitely prove that Darrell's anaconda arms are not small in the least. Let's just say that I have been the "model" for Darrell's costume that Sydney has been diligently creating and the arms that need to fit into that costume can only be described as anaconda like.
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