Things Sister Smart Has Actually Written Us

Many have asked how Sister Smart is doing in the MTC. She's past the halfway mark and we love getting her emails each week. Mostly because we split our pants from laughing.
If she's not preaching at us, she's cracking jokes - typical Deeds.

The following are ACTUAL quotations from emails and letters the last three weeks. I didn't include anything spiritual since that's 95% of her letters and that stuff isn't funny. D's in real missionary mode, preaching at us in each letter, but we know she's trying to learn everything she can before she's out there in San Pablo. I added some punctuation to make her quotes slightly more readable, but I did not change the content of ANYTHING.

Enjoy.

"This language is cray. FO REALS. 75% of it I stare at and wonder how in the heck I'm going to learn it."

"There are so many Polynesians in my zone, its buck wild. They are so loud, I love it. They hoot and holler everywhere we go. Let me tell you, the Lord knows I love 'em, that's why there are so many of them in my zone."

"I am pushing myself because I want to be here, I don't know for some reason that mindset makes it easier to get up at the butt crack of dawn or feel like a straight up foo when I am botching tagalog in front of everyone."

"Seriously though, so many Polys around me and I am lovin' it!"

"The good news is my taglish is really good. But the spirit was totes there in the room and even though it was struggly city, he knew how we felt about the gospel." (talking about teaching an investigator)

"P.S. I have been living off of Blueberry Muffin Tops and cookies so if that tells you anything about my physique you know it is looking good. And also because we are in class all day I look like a chubby hunch back of notre dame so I am going to be super attractive when I get home. The boys will be lining up to go on a date with Mama Odie! But in her own wise words, "It don't matter what you look like!"

"P.P.S. I am sorry if I sound like a total cheese ball, but some peeps are super cheesy and it might be rubbing off on me, but I am trying to stay strong and just be real."

"P.P.P.S. Tell the fam to write me on dear elder and bless Dot for writing me! They came around with letter yesterday and I was feeling like iceman for having one. It is good to feel loved! And if my sibs don't write me in the next week then I will punch you... through the air because I cannot do it in real life!"

"I had so much sour candy and I will eat that to stay awake during class. Haha so my mouth was just raw, it still is actually, between the hot cheetos and all the sourness on my tongue, its like ripped into shreds but I continue to eat them because I love them so much!"

"Parents thank you so much the support! I love reading your letters to see how everyone is doing and I am probably taking up more time then I should on the computer, but I just want to let you know about everything in my life. Youngest child probs...I am still attached!"

"P.S. The word for faith in tagalog is Pananampalataya. Haha if that tells you anything about this language, its crazy, but I love it and hate it at the same time."

"I only have an hour to write to you so I will type as fast as my little sausages will let me!"

"Also, I have to tell you some bad news...my camera is not working and I SWEAR on my missionary life that I did not do anything to it."

"On to more exciting news...Rick and Cher are seriously the best aunt and uncle ever."

"This wednesday I will officially be halfway done with my MTC stay. I feel like there is not enough time here but at the same time I want to poke my eye balls out from doing the same thing everyday. When I think about actually being in the field, I want to poop my pants because I am so nervous!"

"I just need to say that Dad is the MAN. Fo reals, he be climbin e'reday and he is like 57? I don't even know but I am so proud of him. Tell him to start training for the Amazing Race 2014: D's to the top!"

"P.S. Who knew the scriptures were so bomb diggity. They seriously help with everything - its cray. Even if you need help choosing what to wear that day - they would probably help. Joklang (tagalog word for joking) but not really. They help you with everything!!!"

"Here is my week in an overview:
1. Taught a lesson and our investigator said no to EVERY commitment we asked him, I was ticked afterwards and wanted to punch him in the face but then I remembered that I am a missionary...
2. Got pooped on by a bird while studying outside.
3. Ate about 10 donuts and 6 bowls of ice cream
4. Actually understood everything the teacher was saying in one lesson, I think the gift of tongues might manifest itself in understanding for me as opposed to speaking, because I literally cannot speak.
5. Did a belly flop in beach volleyball and got sand everywhere in my pants and hair - didn't have time to shower afterwards.
6. Wanted to poke my eyeballs out with forks after spending all day with our elders - I love them but sometimes they drive me crazy.
7. Strebs and I made a list of all our boy crushes and gave them all nicknames - am I allowed to say that as a missionary? Probs not but I am human.
8. Spilled water down the front of my skirt and for some reason it NEVER dried so I looked like pee-pants all day.
9. Oh year and studied my buns off!!"

"And don't forget to send me lovins anytime you want - I am your LAST child to ever go on a mission. So take advantage!"

"Anyway, in other big news the PROPHET and the quorum of the twelve are coming on June 23rd. HOLLA! They knew that I was here so they decided to come. I am singing in the choir hahaha. Before you laugh I have to tell you that the only reason why I am doing this is because literally the whole MTC is singing in the choir and I would feel like the sons of perdition if I didn't sing. So I just sit there and move my mouth along with the words - I am legit. I am soprano - whatever that means...I asked my kasama what I was. I think I am actually alto, but I am singing soprano because Strebel is an AMAZING singer and she can cover up my stank. Okay I'm actually a nothing because I am tone deaf, but the things you do for the people you love - AKA the proph and his gang!"

"On a side note you would NOT believe the amount of lame jokes I get with my last name. Every time I hear them I am just like -_- (that is a face if you didn't know). People think they are hilarious."

"We're going to be lifelong friends. -Patti Simcox" (Speaking of her comp)

"I know I wish you could meet everyone in my zone, they are the best. I have crushes on like 8 boys, so don't even worry: D-baby still got it!"

"Seriously, the sour candies literally ripped my taste buds off and I officially have jank breath for the rest of my life because I can't chew gum. Also my feel smell like the raunchiest dragon farts 24/7 so if you have anything to make them smell better that would be great."

"Peace and blessins."

As you can see D's letters are the highlight of our week. We cry laughing and sometimes we wonder what the heck is going on in that brain of hers. We are so proud of Sister Smart and her efforts thus far. (You would say so too if you got to read the other 95% of her letters) Each week she makes us miss her even more while simultaneously making us so excited for her mission.
Go Lil D!